


The Reckoning

by L_Greene



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-27
Updated: 2012-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-13 00:13:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/497237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Greene/pseuds/L_Greene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lu Pellegrino and Taz Lords are starting their life together, but neither of them have ventured into this territory before. A series of events in the new life of our favorite burning wreck lawyer and sex god bartender. Companion to "Pilot Light," but not necessary to understand the story. Language and sexual content. Themed after NEEDTOBREATHE's album "The Reckoning."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Slumber

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Pilot Light](https://archiveofourown.org/works/492213) by [L_Greene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Greene/pseuds/L_Greene). 



> This is the morning after Lu and Taz's first time.

_Tongues are violent,_

_Personal, and focused,_

_Tough to beat with_

_Your steady mind._

_But hearts are stronger after broken._

_Wake on up from your slumber,_

_Baby, open up your eyes._

* * *

Lu woke up the next morning incredibly sore. It should have been cause for alarm, but he didn't feel any terror. Still, he ached all over and he wasn't quite sure why.

Assessment: facedown in bed, eyes closed, arms flung wide. His left hand was fisted in his sheets but his right hand was open, palm down. He flexed his fingers and discovered they were about the only part of his body that didn't hurt. His neck ached in several places, his back felt like he'd been flogged—he smirked a bit at that thought—his knees felt like they'd been roundly abused, his ass—

_Taz._

Suddenly, he was in panic mode. His eyes flew open and he twisted, staring around his room. Empty, except for him. _What the—_

But then his bedroom door opened and Taz Lords, clad only in his boxers, sailed in with a towel and a bottle in his arms, took one look at Lu with his eyes wide and worried, and said, "Damn."

His heart rate slowly came back under control. "Oh." He swallowed. "Morning."

"Sorry," Taz murmured, sitting at the edge of his bed as if concerned about hurting him further. "I was hoping to be back in here before you woke up." He held up the towel. "Let's see the damage."

Lu nodded and gingerly turned onto his back.

There were four shallow scratches down his chest and three more down his left side, all from Taz's nails. As the older man looked him over, his eyes sweeping over the scratches and bites on his neck and torso, Lu's eyes honed right in on the one purpling bruise on Taz's neck. So he _had_ managed to mark him. He felt an unnecessary amount of pride over that fact wash over him.

Taz shook out the towel and placed the bandages wrapped in it off to the side. He unscrewed the cap from the bottle and poured a bit of the clear liquid onto the towel. Without even a "this may sting a bit," he pressed it against the deepest of the scratches. Lu hissed, only partly from the pain, and closed his eyes tightly.

"Sorry," Taz murmured again, gently dabbing the towel across the scratches and then up to the bite on Lu's collarbone. The blood from that particular wound had smeared against his skin and into the sheets beneath him. He couldn't quite believe just how far his teeth had sunk in the night before—he must have been insane. Or infected with whatever the Hell had made Lu demand that pain, making him only too willing to inflict it.

The most worrisome part of the whole ordeal was that he actually _enjoyed_ it. He hadn't encountered his sadistic side before last night and now that he had, he had to confront it. But later. Right now, he had to focus on cleaning up the mess he'd made of his Luce the night before.

He reached for one of the bandages, the biggest one he had, and pressed it carefully against the bite, which was turning a sick, bruised purple underneath the clear skin. As Lu's eyes opened again, he lightly kissed the bandage.

Before he could get out his next words, Lu grabbed him by the back of his neck and kissed him hard. Taz barely caught his breath before Lu's tongue met his own, sending a shiver of desire through him. For a few long, hot moments, he propped himself up on his elbow, letting Lu kiss him and savoring the taste of him first thing in the morning. But then he pulled back and Lu let out a huff of annoyance.

"Turn over," Taz said softly. "I need to see your back."

"I'm fine," Lu muttered but turned himself over anyway.

Taz bit his lip. There were a lot more scratches than he'd expected, and a few were pretty deep. He seemed to recall drawing blood the night before, but he hadn't realized… And then there was another bite on Lu's shoulder blade that hadn't quite broken the skin, for which he was grateful, but it was already bruising as well. Good God, what had he done?

He swallowed and started cleaning the scratches on Lu's back, focusing first on the ones over his wings. He prayed he wouldn't scar—it would be horrible if those beautiful black and red wings were permanently marred. Fortunately, the scrapes didn't seem quite deep enough for that. "Sorry," he murmured again, eliciting another huff from the younger man.

"Stop apologizing, will you? I'm _fine_. I'm not gonna break."

"I didn't intend to hurt you."

Lu turned his head so he could glare at Taz over his shoulder. "That's funny, because that's exactly what I _told_ you to do. I would be demanding an apology if you _hadn't_ hurt me."

He was quiet for a moment. "So you really enjoyed that?"

The sharpness behind Lu's blue eyes softened and even though his head was turned, there was no way Taz could have missed the nervous swallow. "Yeah, I did." His gaze fell from Taz's face to a point against the wall, just below the window. "I'm guessing that freaks you out."

It figured. Last night, it seemed like he'd really found someone who understood him and what he wanted, but obviously, Taz had thought it was a one-time thing. His chest tightened. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but wished he'd kept his mouth shut last night. He'd rather have a lifetime of mediocre sex with Taz than one night of mind-blowing sex with him and then nothing. He closed his eyes and tried to will away the pain in his chest that had nothing to do with any physical damage that could have been inflicted on him.

Taz was too important to him already. He felt sick with that realization.

"Actually, what freaks me out is how little that actually bothers me." Taz's hands paused and Lu waited for him to continue, afraid to even breathe. "In fact, I rather like it, a lot more than I anticipated. So, just so we're clear, you're a full-time masochist?"

"Pretty much," Lu murmured.

Taz leaned over him and bit down on his shoulder. Lu moaned softly, moving to increase the pressure and bunching his sheets in his fists. "I can handle that," Taz breathed, releasing his skin.

Lu grinned, allowing Taz to resume cleaning off his back.

There wasn't much that could be done for the bruises lining his neck, so once Taz went to put away the towel and bottle of hydrogen peroxide, Lu dug a clean pair of boxers out of his dresser and went straight for the shower. Hot sex aside, he still had to be at work in an hour.

Once he emerged from the shower, impressed with the bandage for sticking through the water, he located his clothes from the previous evening strewn all over his apartment, but Taz had already picked his up, apparently. He went back into his room to discover the older man fully dressed, sitting on the edge of his bed. "Are you working tonight?" he asked, starting to hang up his suit and making a mental note to take it to the cleaners. He hoped the answer to his question was no.

"Yes. Fridays are always busy." He smiled at Lu as if he'd anticipated the disappointed look on his face. "I'll try to skive off early, though. My boss will probably take some convincing, but I'm sure he can be persuaded."

Lu laughed.

"Want some breakfast? I'm afraid all I know how to make is toast, but it's bloody good toast."

"Yeah, I could eat." As Taz hopped off the bed and darted out of the bedroom, Lu smiled and picked out another suit to wear. By the time he finished dressing, he smelled toast from the kitchen. He draped a tie around his neck and followed the scent into the kitchen, where Taz was just setting out two plates with toast on them.

Suddenly, Taz _really_ wished neither of them had to work that day. Lu in that suit, cut just right in the shoulders and making his ass look, if possible, even more perfect than it was, was almost more than he could take this early. If he had his way, he wouldn't even drag Lu back to bed—he would just bend him over the table and fuck him until they both went blind and Lu was hoarse from screaming.

Fortunately—or unfortunately, depending on who you were—Lu didn't seem to notice Taz's sudden distraction. He finished off his toast in four huge bites, somehow managing not to drop a crumb on his suit, and fixed up his tie in about ten seconds. "You can shower if you need to," he said, setting his plate in the sink. "I gotta go, but you have my number."

Taz smiled and grabbed him by the tie as he passed. He gave him a quick but deep kiss. "Have a good day, Luce," he whispered.

"You, too," Lu said, running his thumb over his cheek for a moment.

What seemed like a moment later, he was out the door.

* * *

The day seemed to drag on. The only truly interesting part of work was the inevitable glance toward the bruises on his neck and the raised eyebrows, and by three, he was already growing bored of those. He didn't bother trying to explain to anyone the source of the bruises because that would lead to more raised eyebrows, but he did call Gabe around lunchtime.

"Hey," Lu said.

"You sound happy," Gabe answered.

Lu stared at his phone for a moment. All he'd said was "hey"! "How the fuck—"

"Magic. What happened?"

Lu rubbed his forehead. "Taz came over last night."

"And let me guess. He left this morning."

"Probably. I mean, he was there when I left, so for all I know, he's _still_ there."

"So, tell me, how many dogs are you planning on getting?"

"W-what?" Sometimes, it was a little hard to follow Gabe's train of through.

"Y'know, when Taz moves in."

"He's not _moving in_ ," Lu hissed.

"Why, is he a cat person?"

"Gabe, I swear to God—"

"I'm just fucking with you," Gabe laughed. "I'm happy for you. It didn't happen _quite_ as soon as you tried to convince me, but it did happen."

"Yeah." He leaned back a bit, kicking at the back of his chair with his toe. His shoes were resting on the seat.

"Are you sitting on your desk?" Gabe asked suddenly.

Lu jumped and scanned his office. "Okay, seriously, do you have a camera in here or something?"

Gabe cracked up. "Lucky guess. Don't you have work to do?"

"Today's the last day of my court case. We're just at lunch right now."

"I see. I better go before Lilith pages you for something."

Lu scoffed. "Whatever." He hung up his phone and a moment later, the phone on his desk beeped.

_"Lu? Zachariah's on line two."_

Lu blinked. _Seriously. How the fuck does he do that?_ "I got it, thanks."

Finally, he arrived back at his apartment, exhausted but wishing Taz was there. He knew he wasn't, though, because he hadn't locked up before he left but apparently Taz had. He closed the front door behind him and flipped on the light. Immediately, he dropped his briefcase, loosened his tie, slid off his jacket, and unbuttoned the top three buttons of his dress shirt. He went to the kitchen to clean up after breakfast, but the plates weren't in the sink anymore and the counters had been wiped down already. He gave a pleasant hum of surprise and went to his bedroom to strip the sheets.

Too late. Taz had apparently already washed his sheets and made his bed again, because the whole damn room smelled clean and when he pulled back the duvet, his sheets were spotless. He checked the bathroom, too, and sure enough, all of his towels had been neatly folded or hung up.

He smiled and slid his jacket back on.

* * *

It was still early when the first few people came in, so Taz was the only one there, but once Chuck came in, he passed the bar over to him to do inventory. Mary arrived about an hour later.

"Hey, Taz. Have a good day?"

He nodded, half-smiling, as he set down his folder. "Brilliant."

"Good." She smiled knowingly. "That's an interesting bruise on your neck."

Taz grinned. "Like I said. Brilliant."

"Who is it?"

"Well—"

"Oh, God, you don't even know, do you?"

He feigned offense. "I know exactly who he was!"

"Well, that's good. So? Who was he?"

"Goodbye, Mary," he sing-songed, picking up a case of Budweiser and bringing it out to the front.

The front door squeaked as it opened, and Taz turned to see who it was. And then he smiled as his eyes locked with Luce's.


	2. Tyrant Kings

_The hardest part is looking back and making sense of_

_The humble tries and troubled times of where we came from._

* * *

Lu knew this conversation was bound to happen. It wasn't like it hadn't been a factor in why it took Taz a month to own up to his feelings or something. It was inevitable.

He just wished it hadn't happened in the freaking car on the way to Gabe's birthday dinner.

"So, Gabe," Taz started, and Lu knew immediately where this conversation was heading.

"What about him?" Lu asked, smoothly executing a left-hand turn.

"Is everything alright with the two of you?"

He knew Taz didn't mean "the two of you" in a romantic way, but somehow, that's what it sounded like. It conjured up memories of Gabe writhing beneath him and crying out his name. He'd told Gabe that he didn't regret the brief sexual aspect of their relationship and he'd meant it—and he still did—but he still felt a small surge of guilt over it. He wasn't comfortable with that guilt. He hadn't done anything wrong. Both he and Gabe had been single at the time and it really wasn't Taz's place to judge him for fucking someone he wasn't in love with. Taz had been doing the exact same thing, after all. "Yeah, everything's fine. You told me to be honest with him—" about four months before they started dating, before everything started falling into place "—and I was. We got everything sorted out."

Taz appeared to ponder how to phrase his next question. "So what was going on?" he asked finally, almost casually, as he toyed with his seatbelt.

Lu shrugged, feigning nonchalance. He wasn't about to lie to Taz about what had happened, but he couldn't think of a good way to describe the situation. What had they been, lovers? He shuddered internally at that thought. He and Gabe had definitely _not_ been lovers. It wasn't really an affair because in his mind, the term "affair" implied infidelity and both of them had been single at the time. "Friends with benefits" was something teenagers did, not twenty-six- and twenty-seven-year-olds. "Fucking" wasn't really the right term, either, because it implied they hadn't cared about each other, and that was definitely not right. Maybe there was no way to accurately describe it. Finally, he decided that the simplest explanation was probably the easiest. "For a couple of months, we were having sex." It was strange to finally say it out loud. The two of them had barely discussed it at all and certainly never mentioned it to their friends.

"A couple months?" Taz asked slowly, as if trying to wrap his head around that.

"Like the end of September to November." Actually, he figured that whatever it had been had ended on his birthday—that was when Gabe had passed that note to Sam and days later, they were in a relationship. Lu had been drunk, but not too drunk to not notice the note sliding under the table or the looks his best friend and Sam had been shooting each other. That was the end of whatever happened. That was when Gabe finally got involved in a real relationship.

Taz shifted in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest as he contemplate his next question. "Who started it?" he asked finally.

"He did."

"And he ended it?"

"Yeah, when he started dating Sam." When Taz was silent for a few moments, he felt his words pour out, unbidden. "It was a very confusing time for me. I had been trying to work up the nerve to ask you out for awhile and then I get a text from you saying you went on a date with Castiel and I just reacted badly. I didn't really—"

"I thought you said he started it."

"He did. I mean, we both kind of knew what was going on, but he was really the one who instigated the whole thing. It was really complicated. We've been friends for years and I guess I just didn't translate my jealousy well. For a long time, he was my only friend, so whenever he started getting friendly with other people, I got really jealous. And then when he started dating people in high school, I still saw them as a threat because he had less time to spend with me. I mean, it's really complicated and really stupid so it doesn't make a lot of sense—"

"No, it makes sense," Taz assured him. "And it's fine. I'm okay with it. I mean, I really don't have any call not to be, right?"

"Yeah," Lu admitted, half-smiling.

He felt Taz's hand move to his thigh as the older man leaned over and breathed into his ear, "Just as long as it's not an issue anymore." Then he licked at the shell of his ear, sliding his hand a little further up as he did so.

Lu's throat was suddenly dry as all the blood in his body rushed south. He really wished they weren't in the car and heading to meet Gabe and Sam. "No, it's definitely not an issue."

"Good," Taz whispered, running his lips down the side of Lu's neck. He scraped his teeth across the skin and then locked his lips onto his neck and sucked hard.

"Jesus, Taz, you need to—" He groaned suddenly, trying to keep his eyes on the road. "You need to not do that when I'm driving." Panting heavily, he said, "You're gonna get us both killed."

He felt Taz's mouth leave his neck as his hand slid further up his thigh and cupped his crotch. "But what a way to go, yeah?"

Lu hissed when he squeezed. "Fuck… God, Taz, I really wish we weren't in this fucking car right now."

"Yeah, me too. I can't keep my hands off you right now," he murmured, the teasing in his voice evident.

"You're gonna have to try, babe." Even though every nerve ending in his body was screaming for Taz.

"If you insist," he murmured with another nip at his neck.

* * *

When they finally arrived at Perdition, Lu didn't know how he was going to get through the dinner. Taz seemed bound and determined to thoroughly frustrate him and make it as difficult as possible to focus on anything but him. He hoped Gabe and Sam didn't notice, but it was probably too much to expect. Taz was making it quite obvious.

"So, Lu, how'd your court thing go?" Gabe asked with a perfectly straight face.

"Um, fine, fine. I got my client off—he was innocent, of course—and that was my last really time-consuming case for the moment." He determinedly ignored Taz's fingers splayed on his thigh and the way he was dragging one nail along his pant leg. He half-wanted to be distracted, but he wasn't going to give Taz the satisfaction.

"Good. Taz, anything new going on with you?"

"No, not really," Taz said cheerfully, as if his hand weren't an inch or two from Lu's straining cock. Or as if it was. On second thought, he was behaving completely normally under the circumstances. "Mary and I thinking about expanding the bar to make room for a performance space, but apart from that, not much."

Lu kind of wanted to punch Taz in the face. He could be annoying with how flawlessly he could pull off the whole innocent flirting thing. It was infuriating because he had never mastered the art of messing with someone while maintaining a straight face.

"Excuse me for a moment," Taz said quickly, standing up. The moment he was out of earshot, Lu let out a long sigh.

"That was weird," Gabe said. "I was about to suggest that the two of you just get a room already."

"I want it to go on record that I did not approve of his behavior," Lu said, grinning.

"At least, not in public?" Gabe guessed.

"Well, yeah."

"Um, Lu," Sam said suddenly. "Are you… are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?" He looked at from Sam to Gabe and back. "Do I not look okay?"

Sam looked uncomfortable, appearing to weigh his next words. "You're… you're covered in bruises. Is Taz…?"

"Yeah," Lu said simply. Then he realized what it sounded like when both Sam and Gabe's eyes widened in shock. "Guys, chill out. It's okay. I'm fine."

"I will fuck his shit up if he's hurting you," Gabe hissed angrily. "I will make a fucking scene right here, right now."

Lu rolled his eyes. Apparently, he would have to explain. Just another conversation in a very inopportune place. "Gabe, relax. It's fine. He's not—"

"Not what, not a fucking creep? Is that why Cas broke up with him?"

"Jesus Christ, Gabe, Cas and Taz broke up because Cas is in love with Dean Wesson. If you'll just let me explain—"

"No-no-no, this is not your fault. The guy is a fucking asshole. You don't deserve that bullshit." Lu saw his hand flying to the back of his waistband and was suddenly very glad Taz wasn't here—Gabe was likely to shoot him if Lu didn't get him calmed down.

"Gabe. Put both of your fucking hands on the table, shut your fucking mouth, and listen. I like it rough, okay? Really rough."

The anger melted off Gabe's face as he tried to wrap his head around that. Sam averted his eyes and nervously scratched the back of his head.

"Wait…" Gabe narrowed his eyes. "You're saying it's a sexual thing?"

"Basically, yeah. He's done nothing to me that I didn't want him to do. Everything is fine. Okay?"

"Damn. _Wow._ You actually like being beaten up?"

"For fuck's sake. He doesn't beat me up. He—fuck, this isn't the place. And it's none of your business anyway."

"Sorry for even bringing it up," Sam said, looking embarrassed. "I really just thought…"

"No, I'm not a victim of domestic abuse. It's great that you care, but if he were legitimately smacking me around, I would kick his ass and then file a lawsuit. You don't need to worry about me."

Gabe appeared to calm down. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I mean, it's not like anyone can really hurt Satan, right?"

"Fuckin' A, right."

Taz reappeared and took his seat next to Lu. Much to the younger man's relief, he set both hands on the table. "Well, it looks like you found something interesting to talk about while I was gone."

"Sure did," Lu said. "Sam mentioned how I appear to be covered in bruises and Gabe basically threatened to kill you."

Taz raised an eyebrow, looking decidedly unconcerned as though he received death threats all the time. "I assume you explained?"

"As well as I cared to."

"Well, let me assure you," Taz said to Gabe and Sam, wrapping an arm around Lu's shoulders, "that my intentions are nothing but honorable and that I would never do anything to hurt Luce unless he asked me to. Which he does. Quite frequently," he added with a mischievous grin.

"And you're done talking," Lu said. He put his hand over Taz's mouth.

After the awkward ice-breaker, the rest of dinner flew by and Taz fortunately kept his hands to himself. Lu was grateful because he really didn't feel like fucking Taz in front of everyone. Besides, it would probably leave Gabe with some severe mental scarring or at least an awkward conversation to have with Sam later. Lu didn't know if Sam knew that he and Gabe had… well, done whatever the fuck it was, but he had a feeling that Sam wouldn't be as okay with it as Taz was, even if it _was_ solely in the past.

By the time Lu and Taz got back to the car, though, Taz was up to his old tricks. Taz slid into the passenger's seat and the moment Lu stuck the key in the ignition, Taz crawled over the seat and captured his mouth. He slid his fingers through Lu's strawberry-blond hair and pulled sharply, causing Lu to moan softly.

"Jesus, Taz," he murmured against his boyfriend's lips. "I've been so fucking hard all night, just imagining your hands all over me. The moment we get back to my place, I'm bending you over that sofa and fucking your brains out."

He felt Taz's lips quirk into a smile. "Bring it on."


	3. Learn to Love

_I had the fortune of a second chance._

_I know the reason why we all should dance._

_I've seen the end and all you have to do_

_Is always hold true._

_I will always stay with you._

* * *

Balthazar Lords was one of those people who got attached to people fairly easily. It was in his nature, after all. His love, on the other hand, was infinitely more difficult to attain than his affection.

Somehow, though, Lucifer Pellegrino had his heart without even trying.

And damn it, it wasn't like he'd made it easy, either. The man was a devil to live with. He had an annoying habit of drinking his milk straight from the carton, which may have flown when he lived by himself, but once they started spending more evenings and mornings together—either at Luce's apartment or his own—that shit got old, _quick_. Every morning, he was up at six-thirty, driving Taz mad, especially if he'd closed the bar the night before. When it was Luce's turn to pick a movie on one of the nights they stayed in, he nearly invariably chose _American Psycho_ —Taz saw that film more times in six weeks than he cared to recall—or, foregoing that, something just as violent. He always blasted classic rock—nothing after 1985 for him—when he drove, which Taz didn't mind exactly, but there was only so many times you could hear a Black Sabbath song before you started pining for something a bit lighter. Even worse, he sang along to it, loud and purposely off-key. And Taz knew it was intentional, because when he did karaoke at the bar—which wasn't often, but it happened once he had enough alcohol in his system—he sounded amazing, even when he sang "My Heart Will Go On," a song Taz completely abhorred. Luce knew the song irritated him, too, and he sang it on purpose.

But God, did Taz love him. Maybe it was because he never forgot to pick up milk when they were running low. Maybe it was because he would make breakfast every morning and he always brought Taz his coffee exactly the way he liked it. Maybe it was because he let Taz pick the movie three or four times for every one time he chose. It could have been that every time he drove, it was because he was picking up or dropping Taz off at work. It might have had something to do with the fact that he sang off-key to make him laugh, which it did with astonishing regularity. He had no idea why Luce sang that fucking song except to annoy the holy Hell out of him, but he was willing to give him that one.

It took him about three months to realize he was in love with Luce. In retrospect, he'd been a bit dense because he should have known after three hours, or at least the morning after the first time they actually had sex. No one had ever dredged that reaction, that absolute need to take care of, that desire to comfort, quite like Luce had. Yes, he had that a bit with Castiel and a few other people with whom he'd been in semi-serious relationships, but not like Luce. With him, it was immediate and less because Luce needed him and more because he needed Luce. And he couldn't figure out _why_.

But Luce, brilliant man that he was, figured it out ages before he did. He also realized that Taz hadn't quite worked it out and kept it to himself.

But Taz finally figured it out one morning in September. Yawning, coffee mug in hand, he shuffled into his kitchen and smiled to himself at the plate of toast and eggs and hash browns Luce had placed on the table. It always amazed him how easily Luce had accustomed himself to Taz's apartment, but it also pleased him. The strawberry blonde was practically a whirlwind, rushing around the kitchen and tossing dishes in the sink. He took a moment to smile at Taz before wiping off his hands and starting to fix his tie. As Taz sat down, Luce swung his suit jacket over his shoulders and the older man realized he must be going to court today.

"Not eating?" he asked.

Luce shook his head. "Have to be in early today." He brushed his sleeves off and peered into a mirror, twisting to try to see the back of his coat. "Do I look okay?"

Taz grinned. "You look fine, love."

The younger man smiled and rolled his eyes. "Pretend you _don't_ want to sleep with me and answer that question again."

Taz laughed. "My answer remains unchanged."

Luce's smile widened and he picked up his briefcase. "Alright, then. I'll try to stop by after work." He leaned in close to Taz and gave him a quick kiss. "I'll see you later," he murmured.

"Have a good day, Luce."

"Thanks. You too." He gave Taz a small smile before heading out the door. There were two clicks as it closed behind him and he locked it with the spare key Taz had given him two months before.

Smiling to himself, he started in on the breakfast that Luce had made for him. He looked over at the seat Luce usually occupied when they ate breakfast and felt a strange sort of sadness that he wasn't here this morning. It tugged at his chest in a way that didn't make sense. It wasn't like he was gone for good. It wasn't like he wasn't going to see Luce in a few hours.

And then it hit him. "Bollocks," he muttered. He supposed this moment was coming, but it still felt like it'd come out of nowhere. He was in love with Luce, wasn't he? That's what it meant when he was happy to just do nothing with the bastard. He hadn't been in love in over ten years—he'd always managed to keep his distance emotionally with the people with whom he got involved. It was easier that way. It made it easier to end a relationship that got a bit too serious for him.

By all rights, realizing that he didn't want to end this relationship should have frightened him to his very core. But it didn't because all he could think was that, if anyone was right for him, it was definitely Lucifer Pellegrino.

All day, he wondered what he was supposed to do. Should he say something when he saw Luce later? Should he send him a quick text? He almost laughed at the thought of his reaction at reading, _By the way, I love you_. He didn't know what he should do, so he said nothing, even after Luce came by after work and ended up spending the night. But Luce somehow knew it because that night, just as they were both drifting off to sleep, tired from work (and that was it—they were both too exhausted to expend any energy on sex), he heard Luce's voice murmur, "I love you, Balthazar."

Before it occurred to him that this was the first time he'd ever said those three words to him, he answered, "I love you, too, Luce." He tilted Luce's head up and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

And then, without even thinking, he said something that very nearly tore them apart. "I want to marry you."

Luce gave him a look that Taz had only seen him wear once before, that panicked look of their first morning after. Luce had woken up and looked around to discover that Taz was nowhere in sight, and for a moment, that fear of abandonment was written all over his face. It vanished the moment after Taz had walked back into his bedroom, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, towel, and a few bandages in his arms, but he'd still seen that look on his face, that pure terror.

It was the expression he wore now, although for the life of him, Taz genuinely couldn't figure out _why_. He knew that a stunned reaction on Luce's part was not only understandable, but expected. After all, even thinking about getting married right now was quite a leap for either of them. But he didn't know why Luce looked so fucking terrified. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—" he started, but the younger man cut him off.

"Stop. Just fucking stop." He sat up, ran his fingers through his hair, and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the look was gone and his expression was unreadable. He exhaled sharply. "Alright, honesty time. What the actual fuck, Taz?" 

Taz spoke slowly and clearly, unsure of any other way to get through to his lover. "I did _not_ mean that we should get married first thing in the morning, Luce. I just meant that…" The words had escaped from his head before he was actually conscious of them. He hadn't even realized it before this, but it was true. "Eventually, in a year or two or five or ten, I will want to be able to… call you my husband." There was no one like his Luce. No one would ever come close to understanding him like Luce did. He had never been overwhelmed with such a strong desire to claim someone as his own before he knew Luce. 

For the first time in his nearly thirty-four years, he wanted everything from someone. 

Taz could practically see Luce's mind racing over questions, not the least of which was probably contemplating the legal ramifications of what they were currently discussing. To his surprise, though, the question that Luce asked was simply, " _Why_?" 

"What do you mean, 'why'?" He seriously couldn't be asking why in God's name Taz wanted to marry him. 

"Why in God's name do you want to marry me?" 

Ah, so he was. The question hit him harder than he expected. Couldn't Luce see how absolutely beautiful he was? Wasn't obvious how much Taz needed him? "Because… because I love you. And I'm _in_ love with you." 

"But I'm frustrating and bitter and—" 

"And funny and brilliant and everything I need." 

_That_ shut Luce up. 

"Yes, you are frustrating, but it's part of who you are and I wouldn't change that. You are so beautiful, Luce." He held him by the shoulders and studied his face in the half-light of the street lamps outside. His deep blue eyes looked pale, almost silver, and absolutely beautiful right now. He trailed the backs of his fingers down his cheek. "If I need to, I will spend the rest of my life convincing you." 

Luce swallowed. Taz could see him melting behind those bright eyes, but he also saw that there was still hesitation. "I—no one ever—I mean, you…" Luce sighed. "I'm not used to this. I'm not used to someone caring about me this much, you know? And I'm not used to… to caring about someone this much." 

Taz kissed him gently. "I know. I'm not, either. I don't know how you did it, but I care about you a great deal. And this is something we need to be careful with." _I don't want to lose you._

Luce nodded. He seemed to have heard Taz's unspoken thought. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It's just a big fucking leap from 'I love you' to 'I want to marry you.'" 

"I know, Luce. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it, but please believe me when I say I don't regret it." 

The younger man half-smiled. "Of course." 

Taz cupped his cheek, his fingertips lazily tracing circles against the skin behind his ear. He rested his forehead against Luce's. "I love you," he whispered. 

The smile on Luce's face widened and he softly ran his fingers through Taz's soft blond hair. "Good. I love you, too." 

Taz pulled him a bit closer and kissed him again. It started off gently but within moments, it deepened and their lips were spreading and their tongues met in a fiery, passionate kiss, and Luce felt himself leaning back as his lover moved over him. On a Tuesday night, Taz made love to him for the first time. It was slow and sweet and by the end, Luce was hoarse from begging, pleading for him to go faster, harder, but Taz refused to be rushed. His body was screaming for him to do what Luce was asking, to just fuck him until they both went blind and blissfully limp—and _Jesus_ , he felt so fucking good tonight, so fucking warm and inviting—but he didn't let himself succumb to his baser instincts. The younger man nearly went out of his mind, his nails digging tightly into Taz's shoulders, until finally he whimpered, "I love you" again, and then Taz finally, mercifully picked up his rhythm. They climaxed together, clinging to each other and both of them very nearly sobbing. 

Long after the afterglow subsided, they held each other tightly. Taz was decidedly unwilling to let Luce go, and Luce seemed quite content to keep his arms firmly around Taz. They settled into a comfortable position for sleeping and Taz murmured one final time into Luce's neck, "I love you." 

"I love you, too," Luce answered. Just before he drifted off, Taz had just enough time to see that there was a happy little smile on his Luce's face. That fact alone was enough to put a smile on his, but knowing that he'd been the one to put it there made it that much better. 

Neither of them could remember when they'd ever been happier. 


	4. Able

_If we're not better than the rest_

_How will children do their best?_

_Find your patience, find your truth._

_Love is all we have to lose_

_'Cause I'm not able_

_On my own._

* * *

"You know this is stupid, right?" Luce asked abruptly one evening. He and Taz were stretched out on the older man's sofa, Taz half-asleep with his head on Luce's chest while Luce watched whatever was on TV. The strawberry blonde had been absently running his fingers through Taz's hair, something he knew made the slightly-shorter man quite sleepy. Naturally, he had no idea on what train of thought Luce had just been.

"Huh?" He was only half-curious as to what Luce meant. He was mostly hoping Luce would start playing with his hair again. It was soothing and he'd had a tough week.

"This. This whole one night at my place, one night at your place thing. It's stupid." Luce sounded very matter-of-fact about this. Taz blinked, mentally stirring himself.

"Is it?"

"Yeah."

He couldn't tell where Luce was going with this. Half the time, he was convinced the man had a screw loose. "Alright, then. Do you have a solution or were you just whining?"

He knew from the sound Luce made that the strawberry blonde was half-grinning. "I wasn't _whining_ , I was _stating_. And yes, I have a solution, smartass."

"Heaven forbid you keep me in suspense." Really, Luce just liked to hear himself talk, didn't he? But he was amazing between the sheets, so Taz decided to keep him around. And he was in love with him. Even though it had been a good four months since they'd traded their first "I love you," that thought still brought a smile to his face. He was completely mad about Luce.

"We should move in together," Luce said simply.

Taz finally shook himself fully awake now. "You want to live together?"

"Yeah. I think we should get a place that isn't yours or mine but ours. I'd like to be able to do this every night without worrying about if I've got clothes for the next day or whatever."

"We _do_ already basically do this every night," Taz said. When Luce opened his mouth to argue, Taz went on. "But I understand what you're saying." He smiled and tugged his lover down to press their lips together. "I would very much like to live with you. For real, not this half-assed switch-off thing." He felt Luce smiling against his mouth and ran his fingers through his hair.

His Luce pulled away after a moment, still smiling faintly. "So we'll take Friday off and start looking around then?"

"Sounds alright. Are we hunting for a house or a flat?"

"I think we should look at houses. Together, we have too much stuff for an apartment. Besides, we may need extra room later." When Taz shot him an alarmed look, Luce quickly explained. "If your parents or mine decide to visit. That's all." He grinned. "Also, it would be nice to have sex without waking the neighbors." Lately, Alastair had been banging on the ceiling at three in the morning, telling them to _keep it the fuck down!_ It usually just made them dissolve into laughter, but it would be better to have some privacy.

Taz chuckled softly. "Then on Friday, we will go looking for a house."

* * *

That turned out to be a lot easier said than done. They looked for almost two weeks before they found a suitable place. It was a one-story with two bedrooms and a small backyard, as close to perfect for them that they could get in the area. Even better, it was about halfway between Luce's office and the Lord & Lady. That also ended up being a bit of an annoyance because they had to go in nearly opposite directions to get to work.

After they signed the lease, it took them another week to move all their things from their respective apartments and to their new house. They enlisted Sam to help with the heavy lifting and Castiel with his Ranger, and got Gabe and Dean along with them. The six of them together were able to get most of the moving done in one day, leaving the rest of it—as well as the arranging—done the next day.

Once they finished moving in, the rest of their social circle gathered at their new house for a housewarming party. Taz wasn't stuck mixing drinks this time—instead it was Gabe slinging drinks. They were pretty decent, too. Since he was making the drinks, he took the car keys of everyone who ordered except Luce and Taz. Michael, in particular, enjoyed the free-flowing alcohol. By the time Rachel decided it was time for them to go home, he had cornered Luce and was drunkenly telling him, "You know, you're not half bad, even if you are Satan incarnate."

"Um, thanks?" Luce said, glancing over Michael's shoulder at Rachel. He shot her a half-concerned, half-incredulous look that she somehow understood and gently took her boyfriend by the arm.

"Hey, Mike. Let's get out of here, okay? You have work in the morning."

Michael, not realizing the next day was a Sunday, allowed himself to be steered toward the front door after giving Luce a hug. It seriously freaked out the younger man. He wasn't used to Michael showing him anything but polite coldness for the past few years.

"You okay?" he heard Castiel's laughing tone say from behind him.

"Yeah. Your brother is a bit off today, though."

"Nah, I just think that's Rachel calming him down a bit. And alcohol. He's a very friendly drunk."

"In that case, he should be drunk more often."

Castiel snorted with laughter and wandered off to watch Ray and Anna dancing badly. They were normally pretty decent, but the addition of alcohol had thrown off their rhythm. Taz took that moment to slink over to Luce, drink in hand, and pull him close. "I can't bloody wait until we're alone," he breathed, letting his hand slide from Luce's shoulder to his hip. The combination of his whispered words, using the British slang he only employed while heavily intoxicated; his tone, rough with lust; and the alcohol on his breath had Luce smirking and shivering slightly in anticipation.

"Yeah? I bet you just can't wait for me to fuck you. You're just desperate for my dick, aren't you, you little slut?" _Where the Hell did_ that _come from?_ For a second, Luce worried that he'd said the wrong thing. The words had just flown out of his mouth before he could stop them. Yes, he knew Taz had had a lot of sex before they started dating, but that didn't make him a slut. He had no idea how he would react to being referred to as such.

But he needn't have worried. He could almost hear the smirk in his voice as he whispered back, "You know me so well. You gonna fuck me until I scream, love?"

"You'll just have to wait to find out, won't you?"

Taz laughed like he'd just told a riotously funny joke and went back to where Gabe was pouring a glass of Scotch for Jeremy.

About an hour later, Jeremy took off (after Gabe determined that he was actually sober enough to drive). Castiel and Dean weren't too far behind him, leaving Gabe, Sam, Ray, and Anna. The last three were all quite drunk and Taz was concerned that they'd have to let Ray and Anna crash in the spare room the first night they spent in the house. Fortunately, Gabe volunteered to take them home, giving Luce a very obvious wink. "You two should definitely be alone tonight," he said slyly. Luce wouldn't have been surprised to discover that he'd been eavesdropping on their teasing earlier. In fact, he didn't care because if he was willing to make sure they were alone, all the better. He would be grateful.

The moment the door slammed behind the last of the guests, Luce slammed the older man against the door, their mouths crashing together in a heated kiss. It was all tongues and teeth and when Taz groaned, hands sliding down to cup his lover's ass, Luce rocked his hips against Taz's. "I've been waiting all night to get my hands on you. God, I want to fuck you so bad right now."

Taz grinned, wrapping his leg around one of Luce's. "Do it, love. Fuck me hard." He gave Luce's rear a firm squeeze with one hand and grabbed hold of his hair with the other. "Come on, love—let's christen those new sheets of ours with some of the filthiest sex we've ever had, yeah?"

They definitely made good on that suggestion. Within five minutes, their clothes were strewn on the floor between the front door and the bedroom and they were a tangle of limbs on their new black silk sheets. Taz gasped when Luce pushed the first lubricant-slickened inside him, moaned with the second, and keened with the third. He sharply tugged on Luce's hair, spurring him on. When the younger man finally pressed himself, slowly and torturously, into his hot, eager hole, Taz was able to swallow his first moan of pleasure. But Luce thrust into him again and he couldn't hold back the second moan, dragging its way out of his throat. Luce slid his hands down and held onto Taz's hips, smirking with a third, harder thrust.

Amidst all the breathless panting, the whispered "fuck me harder"s, the murmured "yeah, you like that, baby?"s, Taz managed to pull Luce down by the shoulders and lock his lips and teeth to his neck. Luce finally moaned, pausing for a moment to pull himself back together before pounding in again, harder. "Bloody Hell!" Taz gasped, digging his nails into Luce's back as sparks shot across his vision. He gritted his teeth, arching into the weight of his lover above him, and managed to fix his mouth back down on Luce's neck, desperate to mark him. He knew in the back of his head that the way Luce was gripping his hips, there'd be faint bruises there in the morning. When Luce rocked his hips again, his hard length grazing the older man's prostate like last time, he also knew it wouldn't be long before he fell apart, even without a hand on his own stiff erection. He moaned loudly against Luce's neck, reaching for his cock, but Luce knocked his hand away and pinned his wrists above his head. He smirked, holding his wrists with one hand, and breathed, "No, you were so desperate for my cock. That's all you get." He scraped his teeth over Taz's collarbone and added, "Remember that first night we were together? How you didn't even have to touch me to get me off? I'm gonna do the same to you. I'm gonna make you come from just my cock."

Taz moaned again, spreading his legs further and biting his lip. "God, love, just _do it_! Just bloody fuck me!" Not that he wasn't very much enjoying Luce's filthy words, because he definitely was. He just knew he would enjoy his actions much more.

And he was right. He let out another loud, ragged moan as Luce's efforts redoubled. He wished he would release his hands, if only so he could scratch up Luce's back like he knew he would appreciate. "Bloody Hell," he gasped as he met Luce's next thrust. "Come on, love, harder!"

Luce obliged, rocking into him even harder. Taz groaned as he saw stars again, almost completely missing the way his lover had started murmuring profanities into his ear and calling him a slut and a whore. But he didn't miss it and he grinned even as he keened, reveling in the dirty words pouring out of his mouth. A moment later, the grin slid off his face as Luce gritted his teeth and thrust into him three times in rapid succession. Taz was so close to coming that he was alright going blind. He wrapped his legs around Luce's waist and moaned, "Please, love, I need to come. Make me come. I'm so bloody close…"

"You're such a fucking whore," Luce hissed into his ear. That was what finally pushed Taz over the edge, arching into him and moaning wantonly. He came hard, his semen splattering against his chest, and he let out a broken, ravaged-sounding keening. Luce moaned softly, pressing his lips to Taz's before pulling back slightly and breathing, "You're so fucking beautiful." A moment later, he was coming, too, filling his lover and finally letting go of his hands.

He slid out of Taz a moment later, drawing a groan out of both men. He kissed the older man again then he moved down. His tongue darted out and he started to lick up the come on Taz's skin. The blonde gasped softly, fisting Luce's hair and bringing him back up for another kiss. Their tongues met and he moaned faintly, taking pleasure in the taste of his seed on his lover's breath. For a wild moment, it seemed like they might never stop kissing, something he wouldn't have minded, but he didn't have the energy for another round right now. But the kiss softened as Luce trailed his fingertips down Taz's cheek, and then he finally pulled back.

"Well, I don't think we woke the neighbors this time," he joked.

"We'll have to do better next time," Taz teased back. Then he coughed.


	5. Drive All Night

_Beg the book to turn the page_

_'Cause I get stuck where the villains get away._

_Somewhere in this wretched tale,_

_There must be a line where the victim gets his way,_

_Just one time._

_Oh, I'll get mine._

* * *

"This is ridic—" Taz was cut off abruptly by his own hacking cough, earning a half-amused, half-concerned look from Lu. "Ridiculous," he finished lamely, crossing his arms over his chest. "I don't get ill."

"There's a first time for everything." Lu fluffed up the pillow in his hands and playfully tossed it at Taz. "I'm sure the bar will be fine without you for a few days. Get your ass in bed."

Taz grumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Normally an order like that is soon followed by great enjoyment" but shuffled toward the bedroom anyway. Lu called after him, "And don't worry, I'm bringing you soup." Taz rolled his eyes.

He wasn't sick—he was just a little under the weather. He didn't need to be babied. Although Luce fussing over him was guaranteed to be adorable, he was nowhere near ill enough to warrant such treatment. Besides, even though Mary could handle the bar by herself, he didn't relish the idea of leaving any of his work for anyone else. He never took sick days and only took an unscheduled day off in case of emergencies. He was often working even on days he said he wasn't coming in.

Taz tossed the pillow on the bed. Suddenly, he sneezed three time in rapid succession and made a face. Sulking, he changed into a pair of sweatpants and climbed under the duvet. _This is bloody daft._ He didn't need to be in bed. He just needed a glass of orange juice and he'd be right as rain.

He definitely didn't need any bloody soup, either.

* * *

Lu sighed anxiously, grateful that soup only took about five minutes to heat up. It hadn't even been two weeks since they'd moved in and already things were falling apart. _He's okay. He's right. It's probably nothing_ , he tried to reassure himself. Still, he glanced nervously in the direction of the bedroom when he heard Taz sneeze once, twice, three times. _Crap._ He was definitely sick. Now the only question was, with what?

He tapped his foot until the timer on the stove went off. _Finally._ It was like the soup was purposely fucking with him. He emptied it into a bowl, grabbed a spoon from the drawer, and went to the bedroom, too. He smiled with satisfaction to see Taz had—albeit grudgingly—gotten into bed.

"This is quite unnecessary," Taz said. A moment later, he coughed again. Lu was going to be insufferable if he kept up this coughing and sneezing nonsense.

Lu didn't even answer him. He just slid a table tray out from under the bed and set the soup down. "Eat. There's more in the pan if you need it. Just put it in the microwave. I'll clean up when I get back. And call me if you need me, okay?"

"I'm bloody _fine_ ," Taz grumbled.

"Well, what's the harm in taking a day off anyway? You work too hard. You need good soup and bad TV." He kissed Taz's cheek. "I'll be back in a few hours. You have my work number—call if you need me."

"I'm bloody _fine_ ," Taz repeated, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I love you," Lu called as he finally left for the day.

Taz managed to crack a smile. "I love you, too."

* * *

Lu managed to keep himself from obsessing over Taz's situation for most of the day. Still, whenever his cell phone or the phone to his office rang, he practically jumped on it, both hoping it was Taz and hoping it wasn't. He wasn't sure which prospect would have been worse. He wanted to hear from his lover, but he had a feeling that Taz wouldn't call him unless things had gotten much worse. Like "deathly-ill" worse. Finally, around two-thirty, he decided that nothing was going on and he'd had enough of waiting around, so he stuck his head out the door to get Lilith's attention.

"Hey, Lil?"

She quickly minimized the window on her computer where she'd been checking Facebook and whirled around. "Yes, Lu?" she asked quickly, trying to regain her composure.

"I'm about to leave for the day. You can take off, too." This whole situation was strange. Normally, if he wanted to talk to her, he just used the intercom. This was the first time he'd left his office just to talk to her. And it was the first time he'd ever actually seen her using the computer. "And for the record, as long as you're not disregarding your job, I don't care if you're on Facebook."

She laughed nervously. "Right. Thanks, Lu."

Lu grabbed his jacket from the stand by the door and pulled out his phone. As he left his office, locking the door behind him, he dialed Taz's number. After about thirty seconds of God-awful Katy Perry blasting in his ear (he seriously needed to have a talk with his boyfriend about his music choices), the call went to voicemail.

_"This is Taz Lords. I'm unable to answer my mobile for whatever reason, so leave me a message and I'll give you a ring back as soon as I get a moment."_

_Great._ This was _exactly_ what Lu needed to hear right now. _He's probably just sleeping. He's fine._ When the tone sounded, he left his message. "Hey, Taz. It's me. I'm guessing—actually, I'm _hoping_ —that you're just asleep right now. Anyway, I'm on my way home now so I'll see you in a half-hour." He paused as he unlocked his car door and slid in. "I love you, babe. Text me back if you're awake."

It wasn't like him to worry like this. He just had this feeling that something was really wrong. Although he'd never had anyone to worry about before, he didn't strike himself as the anxious type. He just didn't fret about other people.

Actually, that wasn't accurate. He'd lost several nights of sleep worrying about Gabe the two times he ended up in the hospital. But his best friend hadn't been sick at the time—not physically, anyway. Apart from that, he tended not to freak out about things like this. Yet here he was, losing his shit because his boyfriend had the sniffles and wasn't answering his phone.

 _Get it together, Lu. Calm the fuck down._ Once he'd taken a few steadying breaths, he calmly backed out of his parking space and headed back home.

Even though he definitely wasn't worrying anymore, he still felt an uncomfortable and decidedly unwarranted sense of dread the closer he got to the house. He could feel it, but he wasn't sure how. He just knew that something wasn't right. All the way through the garage, through the kitchen, down the hallway, he kept telling himself that everything was fine, that Taz was just asleep, that maybe he just hadn't heard the phone ring. He pushed open the bedroom door and mentally braced himself for the worst.

Their bed was empty.

A thousand different scenarios flashed through his mind. Someone had kidnapped him, he'd slipped and broken his neck in the shower, he just decided he wanted out and couldn't be a man about it. Each possibility was more ridiculous than the last, but he just couldn't fight back the waves of panic that crashed over him. His mouth suddenly dry, he rasped out, "Taz?" _Come on, Lucifer. Use your man voice._ He could barely hear himself. "Taz?" he called out, louder now.

"In here," he heard Taz's faint voice answer from the bathroom. It was followed a moment later by the sound of retching.

 _Christ on a bike._ Heart rate under control now, he went to the bathroom to see Taz hugging the toilet for dear life. He looked much worse than he had this morning—he was extremely pale with bright red patches of color on his cheeks and forehead, and his eyes looked a little glassy. "Shit," Lu murmured, sinking to his knees next to him and starting to rub his back.

"Hey there," Taz said, trying to smile, but he started heaving again. Lu saw right through his show.

"'It's nothing,' huh?" he asked, sorely wishing Taz had been right.

"I may have been a bit—" Taz turned his face back into the bowl again and dry-heaved. Once he was sure he was okay for the moment, he finished, "A bit hasty with my initial diagnosis."

"Want me to get you some water?"

Taz thought it over and nodded. As Luce got to his feet, the older man reached up and flushed the toilet. Having to stare down his own vomit was only making him feel worse.

"How long have you been throwing up?"

Taz closed his eyes weakly and shrugged. "Dunno. Couple hours, maybe. What time is it?"

"About three."

"Oh." Taz accepted the glass of water from Luce and took a tentative sip. He swished it around his mouth for a minute and spat it back out. "You're home early."

"I was worried," Luce confessed quietly, sitting back down and continuing to rub Taz's back. He didn't like worrying about anyone. It made him feel weak.

"About a little stomach virus," Taz half-joked.

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't pretend like this is nothing, okay?" Two sets of blue eyes locked as Taz turned his face to Luce's; he unconsciously leaned into the younger man's hand rubbing firm, soothing circles on his back. "I know you don't feel like I should be worried about you. But I am. So don't blow it off. I don't worry about people, so you should feel pretty fucking special right now."

Taz turned his face back into the toilet, burped, grimaced, and took another sip of water. "That's not it, love. Worry all damn day if you want. If it'll help you sleep, worry your head off." He leaned his head against his arm, propped up on the rim of the bowl, and Luce made a mental note to disinfect every surface of their bathroom once he'd gotten Taz back to bed. He didn't want him getting any more sick than he was.

"Then what the Hell is it? Because this martyr bullshit is—" He'd been about to say, "This martyr bullshit is completely stupid," but it dawned on him. This martyr bullshit was why it took so fucking long for Taz to even come clean about his feelings in the first place. This martyr bullshit was why he'd made a big fuss over the few minor (okay, maybe not so minor for the one bite) scratches and scrapes he'd gotten the first night they were together. This martyr bullshit was why he'd even gone after Castiel in the first place.

His tone softened. "It's okay to let someone take care of _you_ every once in awhile."

For a few long moments, they looked at each other. Luce didn't stop rubbing Taz's back once while he spoke and he didn't stop now, either. Taz kept his head against his arm, blinking slowly as he processed his lover's words. How the Hell could he see through him so easily? He thought that maybe he affected Luce the same way Luce affected him, making him completely insensible when it came to situations regarding the other man. Apparently that wasn't the case, though. Luce had figured out in minutes what was going on in Taz's head. _No one should have to take care of me._ But then Luce made the connection and deep inside, the older man knew he was right. He _was_ sick, and he needed to be taken care of.

Sex, loving someone, living with someone—it was all so easy when it wasn't your own trust on the line. And from the moment their relationship started, Luce had put all of his trust in him. It had never occurred to him that he'd been holding back, but this one simple event had made it painfully obvious to both of them that he still had some small trust issues.

God, Luce was right. He hadn't even said it, and he was right. Those unspoken words were hovering just behind Luce's baby-blues, and damned if he wasn't right. "Alright, love," he said. He reached for Luce's free hand and squeezed gently, eliciting a small smile from the strawberry blonde.

"Think you can make it back to bed?"

Taz assessed his situation for a moment before nodding.

"Good." Luce dragged the small trashcan from under the sink over to Taz. "Come on—if you need to, throw up in this." He slowly helped Balthazar back to his feet and together, they shuffled back to bed. By the time they got there, Taz was exhausted. He had no idea how he'd managed to drag himself to the bathroom in the first place. But now that he'd given Luce—and himself—permission to let him take care of him, it was almost too easy to fall into bed and go right to sleep. As he drifted off, he vaguely felt the other man's hand on his shoulder and a kiss pressed to his neck.

* * *

The next day, it became clearer that Taz definitely had the flu. He was still nauseous and sneezing and coughing every now and then, but a fever of 103.5 degrees made a dramatic appearance as well. Luce made the executive decision to take some time off work until he recovered. Taz nearly protested on principle until he really thought about it. It would be better for both of them and probably his recovery if Luce was home with him. So he didn't complain and instead, watched all the crappy daytime TV he could stand and popped the flu medication that Luce picked up until it knocked him out. After a day, his fever went down to a manageable 101, but the nausea and coughing remained. Some nights, he would shiver himself half-awake just to feel Luce sliding another blanket and his arms over him. He knew Luce must have been dying underneath the four or five blankets they had on their bed now, but Taz never heard him complain.

"I just want you better," Luce sleepily murmured the one time Taz had brought it up.

Finally, after eleven days, the fever broke completely. The next day, the nausea subsided and even the coughing had almost completely run its course. Luce stayed home for an extra few days to make sure that Taz had fully recovered, but by now, Taz didn't care. He'd never been that ill before and had he still lived by himself or simply not have had Luce in his life, he might have just kept on working through it, making himself even more sick in the process.

For the first time in a very long time, he felt himself completely giving over his trust to someone else. Luce was here for him, and he was here for Luce. They had each other. That was really all they needed, wasn't it?


	6. Wanted Man

_But the world I see looks good from here_  
 _Right from where I stand.  
_ _Together we could disappear.  
_ _I'm a wanted man._

* * *

 

The plane was barely in the air, and Luce had somehow managed to fall asleep already. Taz had no idea how he could pull something like that off—especially considering where they were going and what they were doing—but he was jealous. Still, he laced his fingers through Luce's and closed his eyes.

By the time they landed in London, Luce had woken up and Taz had fallen asleep. To the older man's annoyance, he was still incredibly groggy from his nap, whereas Luce seemed to be full of energy. Later, he supposed, he would appreciate that, but for the moment, he had to suppress the strong urge to tell his lover to shut the fuck up. Luce was chattering excitedly and kept tugging him along toward baggage claim. He knew that telling Luce to stop wouldn't do any good, anyway. The strawberry blonde would give him an irritated look and promptly ignore his request.

"Mikey's gonna be pissed," Luce said happily for about the eightieth time.

"I hope that's not the only reason we're doing this," Taz half-joked.

The younger man grinned and kissed his cheek. Luce wasn't really comfortable with public displays of affection—sexually frustrating each other aside—and this small gesture reassured him. Taz felt himself relaxing and he allowed the taller man to steer him toward the carousel. Several pieces of luggage were already spinning around the track and Taz peered around the small group of people to verify that they belonged to neither him nor Luce. Luce simply brushed past the small mob and stationed himself right next to the track.

Once Luce located their bags, he carted them over to where Taz had propped himself up against a pillar, eyes drooping. He _really_ needed another nap, and quick. The problem was, Luce had never been to London before and while the man surely had some idea of how to check into a hotel, the clerk would probably give him attitude for being American. He'd rather be alert during the check-in process to expedite it.

"Look!" Luce said suddenly, pointing toward the sliding glass doors. At what, Taz couldn't tell at first, but in a moment, he saw it, too—the chauffeur of the limousine he'd ordered, holding up a sheet of paper with _LORDS_ written across it.

"Ah, lovely," Taz murmured, taking his suitcase from Luce. Maybe he could take a quick nap in the limo. Tomorrow he would have a lie-in, and if Luce even _thought_ about waking him up before nine (since when was _that_ a lie-in?), he might be forced to _not_ hit him.

Fortunately, Luce seemed to calm down once they got into the limo. Taz was able to lean his head against the window and drift off. He came slightly back into consciousness as Luce's hand found his on the seat between them and squeezed. He felt a smile crack his face and allowed himself to hover in the no-man's-land between sleep and consciousness.

Tomorrow, Luce would meet his parents. Today was theirs.

* * *

Luce apparently woke up around seven local time, but Taz didn't. The older man was to discover later that Luce had tried to shake him awake for breakfast in the lobby, but Taz was dead to the world. This pleased the blonde to no end, because for once, he was able to wake up on his own. When Luce heard about the silent threat Taz had made against him the night before, he was also relieved he hadn't managed to wake him.

Because he missed breakfast, he was starving by the time his parents came to pick the two of them up for lunch. But the moment he saw his father's black sedan pulling up to the curb, he felt too anxious to eat anything, anyway. He had mentioned Luce to his parents several times—after the first year or so, they seemed astonished that Taz was still dating him—but was really only in passing. Of course, he didn't often speak to his parents. Not because he disliked them or anything, but because all three of them were busy and being separated by a third of the world will tend to do that. Because of this, most of his comments about Luce were in passing, anyway. There were quite a few things he hadn't told them about his lover.

And now they were about to meet him. He couldn't quite figure out why he felt so nervous—it wasn't like he expected them to disapprove, and he wouldn't have given a flying fuck if they did—but he greeted his parents cheerfully as if it hadn't been six years since they'd seen each other last.

"Morning, Mum. Morning, Dad," he said as Mark and Delilah Lords stepped out of the car.

"Balthazar!" his mother said happily, flinging her arms around her son's neck. She was several inches shorter than him with light blond hair and eyes she'd clearly given Taz. She had a very kind face and he hoped that Luce would feel comfortable around her. Taz certainly wouldn't relax until lunch was over, if he was lucky.

His father, on the other hand, was six-two with all the dark hair and dark eyes of Jeremy Crowley. Jeremy's mother Clarice was Mark Lords's older sister, and Jeremy very much favored his mother's side of the family (in every respect save the height factor—Jeremy was five-foot-nine), as Taz favored _his_ mother's side. Mark Lords was very stern-looking normally, but when he smiled, it was wide and genuine. Still…

"This must be Lu," Taz's father said, fixing his dark brown eyes right on the younger man.

"Lu Pellegrino. It's nice to meet you, sir," Luce said, holding out his hand for the older man to shake. Taz didn't have to look to know that Luce was wearing his "good-first-impressions" smile. He could be quite a charmer when he wanted.

"Nice to meet _you_ , Lu," his father said smoothly. "Call me Mark, please."

And then Delilah said, "Oh, none of that hand-shaking rubbish—come here!" Without further warning, she gave Luce a big hug and Taz had to hide his grin at the astonished look on Luce's face. A beat later, Luce laughed and returned the hug until she pulled back, still beaming. "It's so good to finally meet the man who's been making my son so happy. You can call me Mum or Delilah, whichever you want. Now, then, you boys look hungry."

The first part of the drive to the restaurant was uneventful, but then Delilah had asked, "So, Lu, didn't your parents want to come?"

"They couldn't make it," Luce said. To Delilah and Mark, he probably looked very matter-of-fact, but Taz could sense the dodge. The truth was, no one stateside knew why they were actually here, not even Luce's parents. But Taz knew his mother wasn't about to let the topic go that easily.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Busy? I mean, they wouldn't want to miss—"

"Well, actually," Taz cut in, "they don't know."

"Don't know what? That you're here?"

"No, that they know. They just don't know why."

"They think I'm just visiting," Luce added.

"You have to tell them sometime," she pointed out.

"We will. Just… probably after the fact."

"So does anyone besides us know the true nature of your trip?"

Taz shook his head. He hadn't really intended to use the term, but it was true. "This is really more of an elopement." In the past year and a half—the longest relationship he'd ever been in—he'd had a lot of firsts. The first time he really fell in love. The first time he lived with a romantic partner. The first time he actually felt a desire to marry someone. The first time he allowed someone to take care of him. Even two years before, he would have never guessed that someone could change him like this. He'd never been the settling-down type, but here he was, about to get married.

That being said, he never would have suggested it if he wasn't absolutely sure. In fact, he'd rolled it around in his head for several months before finally bringing it up. It was the first time he'd mentioned it since the first night he'd accidentally let it slip. They'd taken it off the table almost immediately afterward, and he hadn't spared the notion any more thought for several months. Then Luce suggested they move in together, and once he'd fully processed the proposition, he felt more on-board with it than he expected. That thought came back: _We should get married._ But he pushed it back down, certain it would pass in due time. And then when he fell ill and Luce took those two weeks off work to help him recover, it bubbled back up and refused to go away. The man was basically his husband anyway, but every passing day made him more and more certain that he wanted to make it official.

So two months ago, he popped in to visit Luce at work and take him to lunch. After they'd ordered, his perceptive face slid into place and he said, "I have a proposition that I'd like you to consider."

Luce had tilted his head to the side, his expression analytical. "And what would that be?"

Unsure of how to put it—it wasn't as if he ever expected to be in this situation, after all—he finally opted for the unvarnished truth. "Marry me."

Luce tilted his head to the other side, his blue eyes narrowing. "You're joking."

"Absolutely not."

"I seem to recall us having a conversation similar to this about a year ago."

"Exactly. A year ago. A lot's happened since then." Even as he spoke, Taz felt his heart sinking. This wasn't the reaction he expected. He at least thought Luce would smile, even if he said something about them waiting another year or two. Apparently he'd misjudged Luce again. Somehow, the only time he mistaken about a situation was when Luce was involved. "But I understand," he started again, but Luce held up his hand.

"Hang on. I didn't say no. I'm just trying to figure this out, okay?" When Taz nodded, Luce went on. "Now, then. Are you sure? Because I also seem to recall you mentioning before we started dating that you didn't want to get married."

"Which is why I wouldn't bring it up unless I was absolutely certain. And I am. I wouldn't have stuck around this long if I didn't see something long-term with you. I love you and I want to marry you."

Luce propped his elbows up on the table and peered at him for a few long moments. Suddenly, his face cracked into a huge smile. "Well, if you insist," he'd joked.

They'd spent five weeks trying to figure out how to announce it to their social circle and their parents, five weeks trying to decide where to do it—England was basically the only option they had, due to certain legal restrictions in the United States. Finally, Luce had just thrown up his hands. "Fuck this."

"What are you on about now?" Taz asked, half-joking, lying back on their sofa with a magazine over his face.

"This is absolute bullshit. There is no way we can get everyone over to London for a wedding. I'd have to have my parents come out and Gabe would want to come, so he'd bring Sam. Sam would want to bring Cas, too, and Cas would have to come with Dean. You know Dean would want to bring Rachel and there is no way she'd come without Mikey. And then Mikey would basically demand that Ray came, too, and he'd bring Anna. Jeremy would obviously want to be there, too, and Anna's father would probably want to come for the Hell of it."

"I see your point. Canada?"

Luce pulled a face. "Do you really want to get married in Canada? I mean, not that there's anything _wrong_ with it, but… it's Canada."

Taz pulled the magazine off his face. "So… what are you proposing?"

"Let's just go to London and get married. I don't want a big affair, anyway. We'll just go to the courthouse and get married there. I can meet your parents and they can be there. We'll tell everyone else when we get back."

"So, we're eloping?"

Luce sighed. "Yeah, I guess so. That's my suggestion, anyway."

"I'll book the hotel. You get the flights."

Luce had grinned.

* * *

After lunch, they swung by the hotel so Taz and Luce could pick up their changes of clothes in garment bags. Taz's heart started racing as he followed his lover, his soon-to-be husband, down the eight flights of stairs to the lobby and out the main door. He'd spent the last sixteen years telling himself he would never get married, and here he was, on his way to the legal office to do just that. It was a bit of a mind-fuck, actually. "You have your papers, love?"

"Birth certificate, driver's license, Social Security card. I don't need anything else, right?"

"Maybe your passport."

"It's in my jacket."

"Good." Just before they stepped onto the curb, Taz reached forward and pulled Luce back by the waistband of his jeans, planting a small, playful kiss on the back of his neck. Luce twisted around to shoot him a smile and then opened up the car door, sliding into the backseat of Taz's parents' car.

"Alright, let's see here… Balthazar Kevin Lords?" The registrar looked up and glanced from Taz to Luce and back.

"That's me," Taz said cheerfully.

"And… Lucifer Damien Pellegrino?" He looked at Luce with suspicion in his voice and his gaze like they were pranking him.

"Yeah. That's my name." Avoiding Taz's parents' furrowed brows, Luce brandished his birth certificate as proof. Not for the first time and probably not for the last time, he wished his parents hadn't named him after Satan. Still, at this point, it was so much a part of his identity that the thought of changing his name was appalling. Everyone knew him as Lu, and Taz called him Luce. He wouldn't give that up. He could be nothing if not Taz's Luce. He loved that nickname and wouldn't think of changing it. How could he be anything else?

The registrar looked from the documentation to Luce's face, his eyebrows raised. The strawberry blonde stared him down, just daring him to make some kind of crack about his name.

"Alright," he said after a moment, and then wrote something down. "Well, everything seems to be in order." He handed a sheet of paper to Taz. "You're all set now. And congratulations," he added as the four of them headed out.

* * *

Luce had just pulled his tuxedo trousers on when there was a knock at the door. "Lu?" a female voice called from outside. It was Taz's mother.

"Y-yeah?" He wasn't comfortable with calling her "Mom" just yet and calling her by her first name seemed a bit strange, too. He settled for not calling her anything at all.

"Mind if I come in for a moment?"

"Hang on." Luce zipped up his pants and pulled his dress shirt off the hanger. Sliding his arms into the sleeves, he said, "Okay, all set."

Delilah closed the door behind her as Luce set to work buttoning up his shirt. She looked like she was about to say something, but then her eyes honed in on his chest. "Oh, my God," she whispered.

Luce looked down, too. _Oh, shit._ The fucking bruises and scratches. Most were at least a week old, the bruises fading from purple to a sick, dull yellow, but one or two still looked bright and angry. _Great._ He really didn't want to have this discussion with Balthazar's mother, but apparently it was going to happen anyway. "Delilah," he began, but she'd already started forward, horror and disbelief etched all over her face.

"Lu," she said softly, her hands on his arms. Her eyes raked over his chest again before meeting his gaze. "Lu, is my son—?"

"Delilah, it's okay," he said gently. "It's complicated, but I'm alright. Listen," he added as she started to protest. "Please. I'm fine. I…" He let out a quick huff before deciding that the simplest, most succinct explanation would suffice. "I'm a masochist. I like being hurt. Your son has not done _anything_ to me that I did not expressly ask him to do, okay?" There was no way he could accurately describe how it felt to bear the marks of his lover's abuse, not that he wanted to tell that to Taz's mother anyway. He liked shifting in his seat and feeling one of the bruises brush against something, sending a rush of pain through him, reminding him of just who had put it there. He loved being marked as belonging to someone, belonging to Taz. It was somehow more intimate than a ring because you had to be able to trust someone implicitly in order to let go, to withstand it or even inflict it.

But that was much more information than Delilah Lords needed about their sex life. He hoped she'd be able to let it go because this was an all-around awkward situation, and he had about five minutes to finish getting dressed. He started buttoning up his shirt again as Delilah processed this information.

"So… you're really okay then?"

"Yeah." Luce fished his cufflinks out of his pocket and fixed up his sleeves. "I'm perfectly fine. I promise." He turned his back to her to dig out his tie from his garment back. When he turned back, she looked a little calmer. "Are you okay? I mean, finding out your son-in-law is a masochist is probably a bit… I don't know, strange." And finding out your son is a sadist by necessity was also a probably a shocker, too.

Delilah nodded slowly. "Yes, I think I'm okay." She let out a deep breath and gave him a shaky smile. "Anyway, I just wanted to check on you. And…"

"My name, right?" When Delilah nodded again, he sighed. "I figured. Remember, I had no say in the matter. By the time it even occurred to me to change it, it didn't bother me much anymore. Besides, everyone knows me as 'Lu.' The only reason I would change my name is if I was going to move somewhere that people didn't know me at all." He didn't point out that Taz probably wouldn't have chosen Balthazar as his first name, either.

She smiled. "Well, as long as you and Balthazar are okay with it." As Luce finished his bowtie, she slid his jacket out of the garment bag and held it out for him. He let her help him into it and as he buttoned the top button, her smile widened. "He isn't going to know what hit him."

Luce looked over his reflection once, his heart starting to pound. This was it. He was standing in the back room of a courthouse in London in a white tuxedo, waiting to get married. He was about to marry Balthazar Lords, the man who very nearly slipped away from him. The man who said he would never get married. The man whose longest relationship prior to this was five months long.

And he was about to marry him before Michael married Rachel. Screwing with Michael was just an added bonus. He'd always prided himself on being more mature (supposedly) than Lu, and getting married before him would have been just another example of why he was right. _Oh, well. I guess he can't win them all._

"Ready?" Delilah asked.

Taking a deep breath, Luce nodded. He suddenly smiled as he followed his soon-to-be mother-in-law out of the room.

Taz was waiting at the front of the room with his father and the justice of the peace. Luce felt his breath catch in his chest and he tried to remind himself to breathe. Taz looked absolutely stunning in that tuxedo, and it suddenly struck him as weird that, in the nearly two years they'd been together, they'd never been more formally dressed than suits before. Even though neither of them particularly cared for formalwear, it was undeniable that Taz looked anything other than irresistible in his traditional black tuxedo and white dress shirt.

The moment the door closed behind Luce, the blonde turned to look. Almost immediately, a huge smile broke out on Taz's face as he got a good look at Luce in his pure white tuxedo. Luce supposed this made him the bride, but he was planning on showing Taz that he was anything _but_ the little wife tonight. In the meantime, all he wanted to do was get up there with his lover and get married.

"Alright, gentlemen, are you ready?" the justice asked as soon as Luce and Delilah had made it to the front. Luce and Taz exchanged nervous grins and nodded. Luce was more than ready.

"If you cry, we're finished," he staged-whispered to Taz, sliding his hand into his lover's. The older man snorted with laughter.

"I'm not going to cry. I thought that was _your_ job anyway." After they had their chuckle, the justice looked from Taz to Luce and back and said, "Who's first?"

"That would be me," Taz said cheerfully.

"Alright, then repeat after me. 'I, Balthazar, take you, Lucifer…'"

Taz seemed incapable of not smiling. "I, Balthazar, take you, Lucifer…"

"'To be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward…'"

"To be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward…"

"'For better or worse, for richer or poorer…'"

"For better or worse, for richer or poorer…"

"'In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…'"

"In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…"

"'Till death do us part.'"

"Till death do us part." Still holding Luce's hand, he gave the taller man a quick wink.

"Alright, your turn," the justice said, focusing on Lu now. "'I, Lucifer, take you, Balthazar…'"

"I, Lucifer, take you, Balthazar…"

"'To be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward…'"

He should have known it would come to this. From the first night they kissed, it was so obvious. Neither of them could see it at the time, but looking back, this was the only thing that could have happened. "To be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward…"

"'For better or worse, for richer or poorer…'"

They'd already come through so much bullshit together. Moving in together, dealing with his demons with Gabe, learning to trust each other. There was bound to be more bullshit ahead but they could handle it. "For better or worse, for richer or poorer…"

"'In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…'"

He'd been so fucking scared when Taz got sick. He knew at the time that it wasn't that serious, that it couldn't be, but he just kept wondering, _What if this really is the end?_ The thought of losing him still frightened him. But he knew he would never leave Taz's side under those or any circumstances. "In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…" When had his eyes started stinging?

"'Till death do us part.'"

Oh, Jesus, he was crying. _Keep it together!_ "T-till death do us part." One tear rolled down his cheek, quickly followed by another. He was losing it—completely cracking. There was no need for this teary nonsense. But Taz had seen those two tears and his eyes were turning red, too, and then there were tears running down his face. Now they were both crying like babies.

 _Till death do us part._ He should have been terrified. He'd basically given Taz the ability to destroy him from the inside out in a matter of seconds. All it would take was a simple "It's over," and that would be it. He would be finished. He just couldn't survive if Taz wasn't there. He'd understood before what Gabe had gone through, how tempting it was to slip into nothing, but now it was absolute. If Taz left, he'd go to pieces.

But he wouldn't leave. Luce felt that as surely as he felt the ring in his pocket, ready to slide onto Taz's finger. Speaking of which…

"You have rings?" the justice asked.

Taz nodded, wiping at his cheeks and releasing Luce's hand to withdraw the ring from his pocket. Luce pulled out the other ring from his own pocket, both of them still grinning through their tears. With a glance up at Luce, Taz took his husband's left hand in his right and slid the white-gold band onto his finger. Luce saw a flash in the corner of his vision and realized his in-laws were taking pictures. _Jesus Christ._ Still, his smile widened as he took Taz's left hand in his. He brushed his thumb over his husband's knuckles for a moment before sliding the matching ring on his third finger.

"Congratulations, gentlemen. You can go ahead and kiss now."

 _Thank God._ Luce grabbed Taz by his lapels and pulled him close, pressing his lips to his husband's. He felt and heard Taz chuckle against his mouth, and then his arms were wrapping around his waist, pinning them together. The taste of tears and the subtle scent of Taz mingled in his head until there was nothing else. More flashes popped next to him, but he barely noticed them.

From now on, they belonged to no one but each other.

* * *

"Taz? Taz _Lords_? Is that you?" a happily-surprised-sounding voice almost squealed from behind them. It was seven hours later, and the newlyweds were still dressed in their tuxedos because _why the Hell not?_ They'd arrived at a bar called The Garrison about five minutes before, and Taz was thoroughly enjoying taking his new husband to all the places he used to visit when he still lived in London.

Both Luce and Taz spun around, the former not knowing who to expect, and the latter not knowing _what_ to expect. "Hey, Bela," Taz said uneasily as an attractive woman bounded up to them. Luce could hear the strain in his voice and he wondered who this woman was.

"I thought that was you! I haven't seen you in _ages_! Where have you been?" Apparently not sensing Taz's discomfort, she planted a quick but firm kiss against his lips.

"Across the pond," Taz said. He cleared his throat quickly, putting his arm around Luce. "Bela, this is Lu. My husband," he added pointedly.

Bela looked from Taz to Luce and back before laughing. "You? _Married_? You used to tell me you were never getting married!"

"I changed my mind," Taz said quietly but in a tone that left no doubt: he was extremely unhappy with this woman's presence.

"Oh. Well, congratulations, then. How long have you been married?"

Luce glanced at his watch and answered before Taz could. "About seven hours."

"And he's _American_? Wow. All sorts of unexpected things popping up today." Luce didn't like the subtle sarcasm in her voice. He also flat-out didn't like this woman, whoever she was. She glanced between them again and said to Taz, "Well, anyway, I wanted to invite you to karaoke at Purgatory later tonight. It starts at one, but I completely understand if you missed it, considering it's your wedding night and all."

"Yeah," Taz said. He subtly rubbed the small of Luce's back, as if to reassure him that he hadn't forgotten him. "We'll think about it but we're probably just going to spend the evening by ourselves."

"Right." With one last look from Taz to Luce and back, she turned and went right back the way she came. She'd only been there for two minutes or so, but she left quite an impression.

"Who was that?" Luce asked, not quite keeping the irritation out of his voice.

"Bela. Bela Talbot. She…" Taz sighed, looking down. He could tell Luce was trying to stay calm, but it wasn't working. "She's the reason I told myself I was never getting married. We dated for three months and then she just split with me for no reason. Of course, I'd let myself fall for her, so I was gutted when she left. The crazy thing is, she wanted to stay mates after that, and I was stupid enough to think I could handle that. I didn't—I _couldn't_ —let her know what she did to me. After that, I… I promised myself that I would never let anyone get close enough to hurt me like that again."

Luce cradled his lover's face, forcing him to make eye contact. "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"

"It was sixteen years ago. I was over it long before we ever met. It took me a lot longer to change my mind about getting married, but I did. I honestly forgot all about her. It's not like I sat in my room, pining over lost loves. It just never came up." He wrapped his fingers around Luce's wrists. "I'm alright, though. Seeing her surprised me, that's all."

"That's good." He pulled Taz close and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "'Cause you're all mine now."

Taz smiled, running one hand up Luce's arm and back down his side, snaking it below his jacket. "And you're all mine." His smile became more playful suddenly. "Did I tell you how bloody _hot_ you look in that, love?"

Luce laughed softly, pushing his husband until his back was against the wall. "No," he breathed, "you completely forgot to mention that." He leaned in until his lips were less than an inch from Taz's, almost, but not quite, close enough to kiss. "I thought you might like it, though."

"Jesus, Luce." Taz's pupils were so dilated that only a thin ring of blue was still visible; his gaze kept falling to the other man's mouth. "What're you trying to do to me?" Luce could feel his husband's heart beating faster and hear the hitch in his breath.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Luce said innocently. "I'm not doing anything. _You're_ the one who's—" Taz cut him off, pulling his head close and kissing him hard. For a few moments, it was just lips, Luce leaning against the wall, propped up with his forearms on either side of Taz. Then Luce swiped his tongue over Taz's lower lip and the older man moaned softly, spreading his lips. Obligingly, Luce slid his tongue into his mouth, grazing against his tongue and teeth, running over the roof of his mouth, exploring every surface until the shorter blonde whimpered, tangling his fingers into the strawberry-blond mass of his husband's hair.

Luce pulled back, pressing the lower half of his body against Taz's and smirking at the definite hardness in the bartender's trousers. Even though he typically didn't do public displays of affection, he deigned to make an exception in this case. It was his wedding day and no clothes were coming off, so if he wanted to make out with his husband, damned if he wasn't going to do just that. Besides, getting Taz all worked up was a fortunate bonus. " _You're_ the one who's behaving like a horny schoolgirl," Luce said, finally finishing his thought.

"A horny schoolgirl who apparently just married the Devil," Taz shot back, but there was no malice in his voice. "A horny schoolgirl who's getting rather impatient for the traditional wedding-night festivities."

Luce laughed and kissed him lightly. "Well, if you're so anxious to get the party started, we can always find a cab and head back to the hotel." He made a big show of holding his arms out to the side but keeping his hips flush to his husband's. "I'm not stopping you." He watched as his husband sucked his kiss-swollen lower lip into his mouth and bit down, his own blue eyes drawn to the lawyer's lips in turn. The taller man's smirk grew more pronounced, as did the other man's insistent erection against his pants and his lover's thigh. Finally, Taz let out a groan of frustration.

"Bloody Hell, Luce. Let's just get the fuck out of here already." There was a whining, desperate edge to his tone that had his husband wishing they were already back at the hotel in their honeymoon suite, getting ready to break in those new sheets. He didn't let it show, though. No, he'd long since decided that tonight was going to be a memorable night, and it wouldn't behoove him to lose his cool now. He loosely coiled his arm around Taz and escorted him to the front door and out into the night air of London.

Even at this hour, the streets were bustling with people, but for the first time, Luce didn't truly feel connected to them. He still had one arm firmly around his lover, and he was the only person with whom he felt any kind of bond. Strangers surrounded them on every side but it suddenly felt less like they were two separate people and more like they were one. This, he supposed, was probably caused by the fact that they'd gotten married mere hours before. It was still swirling in his head, waiting to sink in. He wondered how long it would take before referring to Taz as "my husband" would lose the mystical quality it had and become simply a truth.

Keeping in constant contact with Taz was easier than he expected. When he leaned damn near into the street to try to flag down a cab, he kept his hand against Taz's back. The smaller man leaned into the touch like it was the only thing anchoring him there. Even through two layers of silk, he could feel the heat radiating from his lover's body and wanted nothing more than to just pull him close and hold him. He resisted, but barely.

Once they were safely nestled in a taxi, though, it was a different story. They cuddled into a corner, Taz folded neatly into Luce's arms as the driver asked for an address. Luce simply told him the name of the hotel and the cab driver nodded, glancing back at them through the rearview.

"Garrison have some to-do?" he asked, referring to the bar they'd just left.

"No. Not that I'm aware of, anyway." He let his hand trail down to rest between him and Taz, giving his husband's ass a playful squeeze and causing his lips to quirk up in both amusement and arousal.

"Ah. Just married, then?"

"Yes," Taz said. "About seven and a half hours ago." He tilted his head back to meet Luce's gaze, and there was the magic of a newly-professed vow of love behind those dark blue eyes of Taz's. They'd both promised themselves that they wouldn't do the silly newlywed thing and get all gooey, but that promise was becoming more difficult to honor. The older man reached for Luce's left hand with his, and their wedding rings connected solidly, sending a rush of permanence through them.

"Congrats. Even if you did marry a bloody Yank," the cabbie added to Taz. There was none of the barely-disguised venom that Bela had had in his words, though. Luce knew it was all in good fun and didn't mind. He had his husband in his arms; he was in his own blissful bubble.

"Thanks. This one isn't so bad, actually. Even if he _does_ wake me up balls-early sometimes," Taz said with an undeniable trace of affection. Luce gently ran his fingers through his lover's blond spikes, smoothing them over his forehead. Two sets of blue eyes locked and then Taz pulled Luce down for a brief, chaste kiss.

As soon as the taxi pulled over in front of the hotel, Luce dug a few crumpled notes out of his pocket and made sure there was enough there to cover the fare, plus a generous tip. Then Taz was dragging him through the lobby, smacking the button for the elevator, keeping his hand locked around Luce's wrist until the lift arrived, shoving him through the doors, pressing him flush to the wall, kissing him hard. The strawberry blonde returned the kiss, smiling internally as Taz ran his fingers through his hair, over the back of his neck, under his collar, but he held his hands up and out, a pose that suggested surrender but was actually anything but. Taz groaned in frustration against his lips. "Bloody touch me!" he practically begged, fisting the lapels of Luce's tuxedo, blue-black eyes shining with desire.

He desperately wanted to, wanted to slide that silk jacket from his shoulders and re-learn every line of his lover's body. He ached for it, which was exactly why he didn't trust himself to touch him anymore. If this started here in the lift, they could be arrested for indecent exposure. "Not yet," Luce breathed. His voice hinted at promise. _Hold on for a few more minutes and I'll make it worth your while._ Putting his hands flat on the elevator wall behind him, he leaned forward and kissed Taz again, closed-mouth and deceptively cool. The older man settled into the kiss, sliding his hands down Luce's sides before resting them on his hips, leaning against him, reminding Luce of exactly what he wanted.

The elevator smoothed to a stop, sending Taz scrambling for the door, pulling Luce along by the waistband of his trousers. The strawberry blonde couldn't help smiling over his newly-acquired habit of leading him around by his pants. They stumbled out into the hallway, Taz bringing their mouths back together in a crash of teeth and tongues and heat. Luce somehow managed to keep his hands off his husband, though, despite very nearly touching him once or twice. He knew the moment he touched him, it would be over.

They made their way down the hall, Luce digging in his pockets for the key to their room. Taz seemed oblivious, his hands running under Luce's jacket, over his back, fighting for contact. Finally, pushing the older man against the door, Luce carefully unlocked their room, opened the door, nudged him inside. The door slammed shut behind them and Luce flipped on a light, still not quite ready to put his hands on his husband yet. Taz bit down on Luce's lower lip and started fumbling with his jacket, finally sliding it from his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Luce raised his hands to Taz's tie and undid it with one swift tug before unbuttoning Taz's jacket, sliding his hands under it and over Taz's shoulders, gently pushing it away. As it fell, he slowly ran his hands from his shoulders up to his neck and higher, cradling the back of his head as he kissed him harder.

Taz moaned softly, pressing himself closer to Luce. He pulled at the taller man's tie and began unbuttoning his dress shirt as Luce pushed him away from the door and toward the bed. Taz hit the edge of the bed and slowly sat down, careful to not break the contact between the two of them as he finally pulled open the last button of Luce's shirt. Luce flung it off easily and dragged his fingers over Taz's shirt, untucking it from the waistband of his trousers. He gently nudged Taz back until the older man was flat on his back, centered on the bed. Finally Luce broke the kiss, still running his hands up and down Taz's sides as he moved his mouth to the line of his jaw, sucking at the skin. Taz moaned again, sinking his nails into Luce's back.

Languidly, Luce trailed his lips down Taz's neck to the collar of his shirt as, one by one, he released each button. He slowly kissed a line down Taz's chest, smiling at his husband's heavy heartbeat as each undone button exposed more skin. Taz groaned, fisting Luce's hair. "Jesus, love. Just get on with it!"

Luce moved back up, his hips grazing across Taz's fully-hard cock, and pressed a few calming kisses to Taz's lips. "There's no need to rush," he murmured. "We've got all the time in the world." He kissed him again. "I promise, baby. I'm gonna make you feel good." When Taz gave a faint nod of acknowledgement, of acceptance, Luce kissed him again and whispered, "I love you." Then he brushed his lips over Taz's chin, under his jaw, down his neck, all the way down to the last two buttons of his shirt.

Luce finally finished unbuttoning his shirt and pulled it open, running his fingers over Taz's exposed chest, desperate to touch every inch of him. He felt his lover's heart racing under his fingertips, hyperaware that Taz's eyes were fixed on him, waiting for his next move. His breathing grew more irregular as Luce scraped his teeth over his collarbone before locking down and sucking a deep bruise into the skin. Taz's head fell back against the pillows and he let out a high whine as Luce marked him. Then he pushed at Taz's shirt, pushed his arms out of the sleeves, and as soon as his arms were free, Luce tossed it to the side, sliding his mouth to the other man's shoulder.

Luce slowly moved down Taz's chest, letting his fingers drag down the heated skin before finding the waistband of his trousers. He let his knuckles draw against his husband's dick as he unbuttoned and unzipped his tuxedo pants. He heard Taz let out a faint whimper and looked up to see that Taz's eyes were closed tightly, his fist to his mouth to hold in his sounds. He reached up, pulled Taz's hand away, brushed his thumb over the cool metal of his wedding ring. "I want to hear you," he said softly, just loud enough for Taz to understand.

When Taz nodded again, Luce moved the rest of the way down and pulled off Taz's shoes, taking the moment to step out of his as well. He kicked them to the side and slithered back over the blonde's body, pressing unhurried kisses to his stomach, tugging down Taz's trousers. The older man moaned softly, digging his nails into the sheets. Once he was lying there in just his boxers, Luce slid his fingers under the elastic waistband. Taz knew Luce was trying to take his time, but this was getting torturous. He just wanted Luce to hurry up, but he just slowly pulled his boxers down, dragging his nails down his legs and sending white-hot bolts of want through him.

He let out a groan when Luce began kissing the insides of his thighs. Christ, he knew just how to drive him crazy. Luce lightly scraped at the skin with his teeth and nails, eliciting another faint gasp from Taz. He fought to keep his eyes open, but it was so much better to just let himself enjoy the sensations of Luce moving over him, tracing every last inch of him. And then he felt he felt the wet heat of Luce's mouth on his cock and he let out a ragged moan, twisting his fingers back into Luce's hair. Luce was doing it perfectly, sucking at all the right spots, running his tongue along the underside, using just the right amount of pressure with his teeth. He moaned again, giving an involuntary thrust into Luce's mouth. He'd been right about making him feel good, though. Luce hummed at the back of his throat and Taz tightened his grip on Luce's hair. _Oh, God._ Luce was going to get him off right there, just like that, wasn't he? "Jesus, Luce," he gasped, but just before he crossed the point of no return, Luce came off his length with a grin.

"I'm not finished with you yet, baby," he breathed. His blue eyes were shining with mischief, like he knew exactly what that look was doing to Taz. "Turn over," he added. He ran his finger lightly over Taz's erection and the older man shuddered before turning onto his stomach.

He nearly moaned at the slick feeling of Luce's pants— _Why the Hell is he still wearing those?!_ —as the younger man moved to straddle him. Then he felt Luce's hands drag all the way up his back, over his wings, and back down. Over and over, Luce rubbed his back, traced his wings until Taz practically felt himself melting into the sheets. Luce leaned in and breathed into his ear, "I absolutely love your wings. They're as beautiful as you are."

Taz moaned partly in response but mostly because he realized he could feel Luce's dick through his pants. Apparently the strawberry blonde had decided to go commando that day, because he was sure he only felt one layer of fabric between them. He just wanted Luce's rock-hard cock deep inside him and he was so fucking desperate that he would have done anything for it. "Luce," he whispered. _Take off your bloody trousers already and fuck me!_

"Yeah, baby?" Luce scraped his teeth over Taz's shoulder blade before lightly kissing the arch of his tattoo. He must have been able to tell how hard Taz was, even on his stomach, because there was a definite note of teasing in his voice. "You want something?"

"Please, Luce," he said softly. He tried to sound as desperate and wrecked as possible, which was actually easy to do. When he sounded like that, Luce couldn't deny him anything. "I want you. I want you so badly…" He sucked in his lower lip and waited.

But he didn't get the answer he expected. "Patience," Luce breathed. "You'll have me soon enough." As if to fuck with him further, he slid down his body and rocked his hips against Taz's ass, making sure the older man felt his erection. He chuckled softly when Taz fisted the sheets again. Then Luce reached over him to the nightstand and grabbed the bottle of lubricant placed there.

The first finger slipped inside him almost too easily. Taz moaned softly, pushing back onto Luce's hand, but it wasn't enough. With the second, he was offered a little more relief as Luce finally dragged his fingers across his prostate, sending sparks across his vision. "Oh, God, _more_ ," he begged. "Please, Luce." He punctuated his pleading with a high whine.

This time, at least, Luce did what he asked. The addition of a third finger was nearly enough to send him, already hovering dangerously close, over the edge. Luce was working him just right, finger-fucking with a nearly perfect rhythm. Taz gasped, feeling himself on the verge. "Oh, Jesus, Luce—!"

But then Luce withdrew his fingers, and Taz lay there, stunned and panting. Yes, Luce was apparently determined to drive him completely insensible before sunrise. He needed to come so badly; desperation was all over his face. It curled in his chest and settled in his stomach, a deep aching that almost felt like a knife. He didn't know how long he could last with Luce tormenting him like this.

The younger man pressed a kiss to the back of his neck. "Still with me?"

Taz nodded, blinking slowly. It felt like his whole body was on fire. All he could focus on was the sharp stabbing want. "Please, Luce. I-I need you."

For a moment that bordered on years, there was silence. And then Luce finally murmured, "Okay, baby. Turn over."

Taz turned underneath his lover and nearly gasped at unbridled lust in Luce's eyes. He couldn't see a trace of blue anymore and he shivered in anticipation, tugging at Luce's pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped them in record time despite the trembling of his fingers and finally managed to push them down. He had just enough time to register that he'd been correct—Luce wasn't wearing underwear—before he felt Luce, hard and hot and heavy, pressing inside him. He moaned, eyes melting shut, digging his nails into Luce's shoulders as the younger man slowly penetrated him. "Fuck! Luce, faster!" he nearly screamed.

"I'm gonna make love to you all night," Luce breathed, sliding his arms around his husband. "I'm gonna take you so high. Then I'm gonna fuck you until you can't remember your name." Finally, Luce was completely inside him, rammed into the hilt. He set up a slow, steady pace that had nearly every breath Taz drew coming out as a moan. Eyes rolling back, digging his nails in Luce's shoulders, he met every languid rock of his hips.

"Please, love! Faster!" he begged, but Luce kept up his agonizing rhythm. No matter how much Taz pleaded, Luce's pacing never changed, and it was driving him insane. And then he felt the slow heat building in his stomach again, and he knew he was going to come soon, any minute, no matter what Luce did. He moaned, practically whimpered, as his eyes closed.

That's when Luce did the unthinkable. Just moments before Taz went over the edge, Luce stopped completely. He tried to get angry, tried to summon the presence of mind to let Luce know exactly what he thought of his little game—getting him worked up, almost bringing him off, and then letting go—but all he could think of was, "I think I _did_ marry the Devil."

Luce just laughed. With a kiss to Taz's neck, he started up again.

The bastard did it two more times. Two more times, he very nearly brought Taz to orgasm. Two more times, he pulled back at the last possible second. By the end, he was a wreck, panting and moaning and clinging to Luce even though that bastard was the one keeping him from getting off. He couldn't speak anymore, could barely even think. All he could focus on was the sensation of constantly being denied, the aching throb throughout his body.

So when Luce started thrusting into him again, he had no reason to think it would end any differently. He let out a loud, ragged moan as Luce hit his prostate again and again, raking his nails over his back, meeting every thrust. For the sixth time, he felt his orgasm building, and he was already shaking. He was so close, so ready for it, but mentally preparing for the fall.

But then Luce let out a dizzy moan and his next thrust was harder, faster. Taz gasped, his nails sinking in deeper, and wrapped his legs around Luce's waist. "Oh, God, Luce," he moaned, pressing himself as close to his husband as possible. "So close—!"

And then, finally, mercifully, he was coming, an orgasm so intense that he actually screamed. It felt like an explosion as wave after wave crashed over him. His vision hazed over and he couldn't move. He was locked, wrapped around his lover, coming in thick, hot jets. It seemed to go on forever and all he could feel was the ache finally subsiding.

He had no idea how much later it was when he finally opened his eyes. He was still loosely coiled around Luce, who was still holding onto him. He wasn't sure he could even move. His limbs were heavy and he felt a deep exhaustion. But despite that, he felt fantastic.

He heard the low rumble of Luce's laugh and turned his head. "You bastard," he said simply.

"You're still in one piece, and I'm gonna go ahead and assume that was probably one of the best orgasms of your life. What the Hell are you complaining about?"

Taz rolled his eyes. He wasn't about to admit it to Luce, but he was right. Except it wasn't _one of_ the best, it was _the_ best. The man didn't need to swell his ego anymore, though. "You could have warned me you planned on giving me a heart attack."

"And ruin all the fun?" Luce grinned. "Not a chance." He gave Taz a quick kiss and then slid out of him. They both sighed softly and Luce flopped next to Taz on the bed. "But damn, I'm exhausted. I think I'm gonna sleep for like twelve hours."

"What, and ruin your sleep cycle?" Taz said good-naturedly. He rolled onto his side to run his hand over Luce's arm.

"We're not going back for two weeks. I'm sure my schedule will reset once we're back home, anyway." Luce seemed to study his face for a few moments. He lifted his hand to cup Taz's cheek, running his thumb over the crest. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Taz kissed the inside of Luce's wrist, letting his fingers trail over Luce's, over the new ring on his finger. "Now keep your bloody mouth shut. You've kept me awake long enough," he joked.

Luce laughed and pulled him closer. Taz fell asleep enjoying the feeling of his husband's heartbeat beneath his fingers.


	7. White Fences

  
_You leave me in the dark_

_Recounting all my sins._

_You put words in my mouth_

_But who is gonna mend_

_These white fences?_

* * *

Lu yawned and opened his eyes, rolling over to poke Taz awake. To his surprise, though, the bed next to him was empty. _Huh?_ He'd known that Taz was working late the night before, but it was six-thirty. He was usually home by now. Lu threw off the duvet and headed out to the living room, in case Taz had opted to sleep on the couch instead of waking him up.

But no. The couch was empty. "Huh," he muttered, retrieving his phone from the bedroom and calling Taz. This month the ringback song was Adele, which was infinitely better than Ke$ha or Katy Perry, but Lu still held the phone away from his ear as he checked the garage, making absolutely sure Taz's car wasn't parked there.

" _You've reached Taz Lords. I can't answer my mobile, so leave me a message or call back later."_ Lu rolled his eyes and hung up. He went to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee, dialing the number for the bar. He knew last call was around two and they closed at three, but if Taz wasn't home by now, he was probably there.

But it was Mary Campbell's voice that greeted him. _"You've reached the Lord & Lady at 371 Lawrence Avenue. Our hours are…"_ Lu just hung up. He told himself he wasn't going to start worrying until he left for work and instead went back to the bedroom to get ready.

He'd just finished buttoning his shirt when he heard the front door open. Dragging his comb through his hair, he went to see Taz hanging up his jacket in the front closet. "Hey. Where've you been?" Lu asked, sounding sharper than he intended. His tone earned a stony glare from the slightly-shorter blonde.

"There was an incident at the bar last night. A few people got arrested, and I had to give a statement. Can we skip the fucking third degree right now? I've been up for twenty-three hours."

"You couldn't have called? _That_ doesn't make any sense." Alright, so he completely missed the point of Taz's explanation. He told himself Taz would understand his annoyance and everything would be okay, but Taz just shot him another glare.

"Well, I don't bloody know. They took my bloody phone and I got it back on my way out. So, yeah, maybe I _could_ have called. Or maybe I could have just walked out and gotten arrested myself." Taz shoved past Lu, who felt his temper flare. "I'm going to bed, if that's okay with you," he added, laying the sarcasm on heavily.

"Fine," Lu snapped at his retreating back. "Not like I haven't been worrying about you or anything!"

The bedroom door slammed shut, sending another wave of anger through the strawberry-blonde. He just barely resisted the urge to throw something—he wasn't sure what, but probably his comb—and opted to just grab his keys off the counter and storm out of the house. He was going to be early for work, but he didn't care. He just had to get out of the house before he did something stupid.

He did slam the door as hard as he could behind him, though.

Taz heard the bang of the door as Luce left and almost immediately felt bad. Luce _had_ just been worried about him, that's all. But then he remembered that he wasn't the one who had completely flipped out over nothing—that had been all Lu. _I'm not the one who should be sorry._ His momentary contrition dissipating, he stripped off his shirt and pants and climbed into bed. He was exhausted, and he didn't want to deal with this right now. He'd had a very bothersome night and early morning, and he was in no mood to even think about it.

* * *

As soon as the door slammed behind him, Lu felt guilty. After all, Taz _had_ been busy all night, and dealing with cops wasn't any fun. It wasn't fair to make him feel bad over something he had no control over, right? But then again, he wasn't even able to text him and tell him he was safe? Taz hadn't been able to call from a payphone or borrow another phone to just let him know that he wasn't dead in a wreck somewhere? By the time Lu pulled into his parking space in front of his office, he'd managed to talk himself out of his guilt and right back into his annoyance. It wasn't like this was _his_ fault—he was the one who'd woken up to discover his husband wasn't home. He had plenty of right to be pissed off.

He managed to stay pissed off for the rest of the day and well into the afternoon. Even after he got into his car to head home at the end of the day, he was still fuming. Part of him knew it was stupid, but he hadn't been good and pissed off in a long time and he somehow missed that feeling. He just wanted to be angry for awhile, and damned if he wasn't going to do exactly that. In fact, that was his exact plan, to just yell at Taz for awhile because he knew Taz could take it and would probably shout right back and then they would go have angry sex and everything would be forgiven afterwards.

The garage was empty when Lu pulled into it. He tried to ignore the feeling of his heart sinking as he went into the house, knowing he wouldn't find Taz inside but feeling disappointed anyway. He hunted through the kitchen for a note—laid on the table or stuck to the fridge or propped up on the counter—but there was none to be found. Taz had just left, gone to work early to… To what? To avoid seeing him tonight? _Fine._ If he wanted to play it like this, Lu could play this game, too. He wouldn't be the first one to break.

He fixed dinner for one that night, caught up on some recorded TV he'd missed during the week, and climbed into bed alone.

* * *

Taz had woken up around three, feeling refreshed but still irritated. He checked his phone to make sure Luce hadn't left any text messages or voicemails, but all he had was an email from American Eagle. Gritting his teeth in annoyance, he got up and pulled on the first pair of jeans he could find, the ones from last night, and cinched his belt. He made a sandwich for breakfast or lunch or dinner—whatever you could call a meal at this hour and then watched TV until almost four-thirty. He suddenly realized Lu would probably be coming home soon and he wasn't sure why that realization flooded him with apprehension when just an hour before, he'd been hoping the bastard had called.

He turned off the television and went to the bedroom to finish getting dressed. He made sure the bed was neatly made up before he went to the kitchen to grab his keys from the counter by the door. For a moment, he toyed with the thought of leaving a note for him—saying what, he wasn't sure—but decided against it. If Lu wasn't going to try to talk to him, he wasn't going to try to talk to him. He wasn't going to break first—of that, he was certain. He just went to his car, twirling his keys around his finger.

He ignored the slight lurch in his stomach as he pulled away from the house.

* * *

Lu slept fitfully that night. He wasn't sure why, but it certainly wasn't because his husband wasn't next to him. He'd gone to sleep numerous times by himself—that was just the nature of marrying someone who owned an evening business like a bar. Still, when his alarm went off the next morning, he felt himself automatically reaching for the warm body that should have been next to him. It wasn't until his hands met empty air that he remembered. _Oh._ They were fighting, weren't they? The strange thing was, it didn't really feel like a fight. It felt like a mere contest of wills. They'd exchanged a few sharp words, sure, but were they actually _fighting_?

He rolled out of bed and headed for the kitchen. He froze when he got to the living room, though. Taz _had_ come home last night. Apparently, he hadn't wanted to sleep in the same bed as Lu, though, because he'd chosen to crash on the couch instead. The message wasn't lost on Lu, either.

There was a perfectly good California king-sized bed in the spare bedroom, but Lu wouldn't have passed that room on the way to the kitchen. He _would_ have had to go through the living room, however. Taz wanted to make it absolutely clear that he'd rather not share a bed with Lu, and that thought sent a wave of distress through him. He chewed on his lip and absently spun his wedding ring around his finger. It was a nervous habit he'd picked up in the eight months they'd been married. He felt a bit sick as he continued watching Taz for a few more moments, just looking at him and knowing he hadn't wanted to sleep next to him.

He tried to push that thought out of his head and went about the rest of his morning routine. He was just about to leave when he chanced another glance at Taz, who was still asleep and wearing presumably the same clothes in which he'd worked the night before. Hell, even his shoes were still on. Before he could talk himself out of it, he grabbed a blanket out of the linen closet and draped it over his husband's sleeping form. He briefly thought about waking Taz up—he had no idea what he would say—but finally just decided to go to work. They'd talk after work.

* * *

Eyes closed, Taz pulled the blanket more tightly around himself. _Hang on. I didn't…_ His eyes flew open. He hadn't gotten a blanket last night. He'd come home, contemplated joining Lu in bed from the doorway, and decided against it. _Let the bastard suffer_ , he'd thought, closing the door and settling onto the couch. Sure, he could have just as easily and even more comfortably slept in the spare room, but he'd wanted to be sure Lu saw him the next morning. It hadn't been pleasant, sleeping on the damn sofa and all by himself—he missed his husband's presence, missed his arms around him when he woke up more than he cared to admit—but he was out to prove a point and damned if he wasn't going to.

So he hadn't expected to wake up and discover that Luce had put that blanket over him.

He sighed and sat up, letting the blanket fall away from him. Last night hadn't been nice, either, but at least he knew now that the police weren't going to demand that he appear in court or anything. The two drunken assholes from the night before were just being issued a citation for disorderly conduct. He supposed that was a good thing, but it didn't make him feel any better. After all, he hadn't exchanged so much as a word with his husband in twenty-four hours. That was the biggest problem he had right now.

He was slowly realizing he didn't care who had started this damn fight or whose fault it was. He just missed Luce, and that hurt the most.

It was about noon when he woke up, so he wandered into the kitchen and made himself a sandwich. Every so often, he glanced at his phone or started typing out something to send to Luce, but he could never quite figure out what he wanted to say. So he just put his phone away until ten or fifteen or thirty minutes later when the notion to just text Luce occurred to him again. It went on like that four hours until he finally heard the garage door creaking open and assured himself that Luce was home and trying to text him now was ridiculous. He settled onto the couch and pulled the blanket back around him again and waited.

It seemed like it took longer than necessary for Luce to open the front door, but that may have been because he was waiting anxiously for him. The door slowly swung open and Taz _still_ didn't know what to say when he finally met his lover's gaze. He settled for a simple, "Hi."

"Hi," Luce said softly, like he wasn't sure what to expect. He hung up his jacket in the closet and gingerly approached Taz. "What's up?"

Taz was staring determinedly at the floor, pulling the blanket tighter. "I, er…" Luce's shoes appeared in front of him and he stared down the black-and-red Macbeths. "I missed you," he told those shoes. He felt faintly ridiculous. It wasn't like they hadn't been married for the better part of a year already. They'd been _together_ for nearly three years now. There was no reason for him to feel this nervous about a stupid fucking fight, but here it was and he wasn't quite sure what to say.

But then Luce was pulling him to his feet and wrapping his arms around him and burying his nose in his hair and breathing, "Me, too. I've been thinking about it all day and I…" His voice trailed off and Taz thought he was done, so he opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he said. It took him a moment to realize that Luce had said the exact same thing at the exact same time. The younger man chuckled softly and kissed his cheek.

"I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for not being able to call me. I know cops can be dicks. I was just worried, you know? I shouldn't have yelled at you, either. I reacted badly." He gently brushed his fingers through Taz's hair. "I just don't like waking up without you next to me," he added softly.

"I still should have at least tried to call," Taz murmured. "I just… I was so preoccupied with all the other bullshit. I didn't know when I was going to get to come home. I'm sorry. And I shouldn't have come off like some self-righteous twat." That comment caused Luce to snort with laughter, leading Taz to laugh as well, and soon they were both giggling like teenagers, earlier tension forgotten. As their laughter subsided, Luce brushed a few strands of hair away from Taz's face.

"So… are we okay now? I mean, you're not still pissed at me, are you?"

Taz shook his head, smiling slightly. "No, not at all. I think we're okay. Unless you're still pissed at _me_ for some reason."

Luce grinned and shook his head. "No. We're fine."

Taz leaned his head against Luce's shoulder, enjoying being close to him again. "I love you." He felt his husband press a kiss to the side of his neck.

"I love you, too."


	8. The Reckoning

_'Cause I can see the shadows_

_At the foot of my door._

_I can see the faces_

_That don't doubt us anymore._

_I can see it coming_

_I pray I don't go blind_

_In the middle of our reckoning time._

* * *

As soon as the door closed behind him, Luce let out an irritated sigh and shrugged out of his suit jacket. He _hated_ wearing suits, absolutely loathed them. He knew he looked good in them, but they were uncomfortable. The ties were the worst part, though. He wouldn't even be wearing it if he didn't have this damn lunch to go to with the heads of a law firm who were interested in hiring him. Depending on how the meeting went and what they offered if they liked him, he would probably accept.

He'd mentioned it to Taz a few weeks ago. Taz had seemed interested, but the only question he asked was, "Are they going to make you wear a suit?" Of course he'd know that was the damn problem. But if they paid him enough, it would be worth it. Maybe.

They'd discussed the specifics at length later, of course. At least, the specifics that he knew, although they weren't much. Just that he was meeting with Richard Roman and Zachariah Dixon of the Azazel, Roman, and Dixon Law Firm for lunch at the Yardhouse. He was okay with that part, but the damn suit was driving him nuts. He'd tried to dart out of the house before Taz saw him wearing it, but his husband _did_ see it and just stood there, hand over his mouth to hide his smile and trying not to laugh. It wasn't like there was anything _wrong_ with it—it was just that he was so visibly uncomfortable that it was riotously funny to everyone but him. Even Lilith had struggled to keep a straight face the moment she saw him.

He had to make it through lunch before he could go home and change into some more casual clothes, but he was going to make himself as comfortable as possible. This meant hanging his jacket off the back of his seat, loosening his tie, and unbuttoning the top button of his shirt. He hoped the new client with whom he had a meeting this morning wouldn't be bothered, but he had a feeling he wouldn't. Honestly, Luce knew nothing about the guy, not even his name, but that wasn't uncommon. It protected anonymity, something he was happy to oblige.

He checked his watch and sighed again. He had fifteen minutes before the new client was supposed to show up. There wasn't time to do much else, so he pulled up Spider Solitaire on his computer and started playing. He considered toeing out of his shoes but decided against it. He didn't want the office to smell like feet. That would be a bad first impression, and since he got enough looks for his name, he couldn't afford to make anything other than a brilliant first impression every day of his life.

All too soon, the door to his office opened and Luce quickly turned off his computer screen, standing up and heading around the desk. He froze, though, when he saw who'd just sailed in. "Taz!" he hissed, charging forward. His husband came to meet him, smiling demurely. "You can't be here! I have a new client coming any minute!"

"Really?" Taz gave him a look of innocent surprise. "Oh, dear. Who's this new client of yours? What's his name?"

"I don't know, okay? It's just the first meeting. And I couldn't tell you anyway for confidentiality reasons. You just have to—" Luce started to push Taz back toward the door, palms against his suit jacket, but the slightly-shorter blonde threw his hand back and slammed the door shut. "What the…?" His voice trailed off. Taz was wearing a suit. Why was Taz wearing a suit? "Why are you wearing a suit?"

Taz smirked. "Why, I'm your ten o'clock, love. Why else would I be all dressed up?"

Luce let out a hoarse chuckle and backed up until he could lean against his desk. Taz calmly dropped into the closer of the two chairs across from the desk and looked up at him. "You're ridiculous," Luce said, trying to summon annoyance or indignation or _something_ other than faint amusement. "I mean, I'm supposed to be on the clock. Billable hours and that crap."

"Please. Did you really have anything better to do with your morning?" Without waiting for an answer, Taz went on. "Besides, I knew you had your big meeting today with those blokes—Roman, Nero, and Caesar or whatever."

"Azazel, Roman, and Dixon," Luce said, trying not to grin. He had to remind himself that Taz was being annoying. "Although it'll only be Roman and Dixon there."

"Exactly. And you've been stressing ever since you found out about it." Taz shrugged. "So I took it upon myself to help you out." He grinned, waiting for Luce's reaction.

"Helping out how? I mean, no offense, but how can you possibly make this go any smoother?" Luce crossed his arms over his chest.

The other man grinned. Rising to his feet in one effortless motion, Taz grabbed Luce by his tie and pressed their mouths together in a greedy, dirty kiss. Luce's eyes closed almost immediately and automatically, he slid his fingers through his husband's hair. When Taz finally pulled back, leaving the strawberry blonde panting softly, his blue eyes seemed to sparkle with mischief. "Well, the plan is to fuck you against your desk. Releasing a bit of energy always seems to calm you right down."

Luce chuckled and pulled Taz back against him. "This should be interesting," he murmured.

Taz smirked and slid his leg between Luce's, leaning into him. "You have no idea, love," he breathed. He kissed Luce again, running his thumb over the knot in Luce's tie. With a quick tug, he completely untied the already-loosened knot and slipped the red silk from around Luce's collar. He felt the younger man smiling against his mouth and pulled back slightly.

"Smart move," Luce said, starting on Taz's tie as well. "Don't want to show up with come on my clothes. Especially not that tie. It's Armani." He grinned at Taz. A moment later, the tie was free from Taz's neck. The blonde extracted it from Luce's grip.

"Oh," he said as though the thought hadn't occurred to him. Lazily, he wound the fabric through his fingers. "Yes, I suppose that's true. I _did_ know it was Armani, though. I gave it to you, remember?" He untucked Luce's dress shirt and started opening buttons, trailing his fingertips over his husband's skin. Luce's heart was beating a little faster than normal, but there was a grin on his face. Taz leaned back in, cradling the back of his head and nipping at his neck.

Luce sighed and seemed to melt into the touch as Taz ran his fingers over his shoulder and down his back. He was just getting comfortable when suddenly Taz turned him around and bent him over. Luce's hands connected with the desktop with a solid _smack_ and the strawberry blonde smirked again, looking over his shoulder at Taz. "Oh, it's like that, is it?" he asked.

Taz leaned over him and pulled his hands off the desk. "You know, I've fantasized about fucking you here," he breathed into Luce's ear. He pulled the taller man's wrists behind his back and started winding his tie across them, holding them in place. "Right here, with your secretary right out there. Just laying claim to everything that's mine." He grinned when Luce let out a needy whine and ground his ass against Taz's hips. "Imagining how hard you'll have to struggle to not scream… God, love, it gets me so hard." He rocked forward, drawing another ragged whimper from the strawberry blonde.

"'m on a schedule," Luce breathed once he regained control of his voice. "Gotta leave by eleven."

"Plenty of time, love," Taz chided gently. "Don't worry. I'll have you good and wrecked with lots of time for you to make it to lunch." He coiled the other tie, Luce's tie, through his hands for a moment before sliding it over Luce's mouth. "Don't want to get interrupted, though," he added. He pressed a kiss to the back of Luce's neck before sliding his hands to his front and unbuckling his belt.

Luce had never been so vulnerable before. He didn't necessarily mind it, but his heart was racing already and he was breathing heavily. He let out an experimental moan and discovered that the material of his tie muffled the sound quite well. As an afterthought, he tested the tie wrapped around his wrists, assuring himself that the knot was secure. It held tight, but not uncomfortably so. Satisfied, he tried to force himself to relax as Taz's skilled hands pushed down his trousers and underwear, rocking his still-clothed hips against his skin. Luce whined at the feeling of Taz's hardness against him and tried to push back, but Taz had one hand resting on his rear to hold him in place. Luce wiggled his fingers and groaned in frustration.

"Is that going to be uncomfortable?" Taz asked, sounding worried for a moment. When Luce shook his head, Taz asked, "Are you sure?" Luce nodded frantically, trying to push against Taz again. The blonde laughed softly. "Alright, love. If you're sure." Luce just nodded again.

He'd never admitted it before, but he'd secretly wanted to get laid in his office as well. The idea had always been such a turn-on, happening almost exactly like this with a client coming in, fucking him, and leaving. This was infinitely better, though—with his lover instead of someone he barely knew. He hadn't expected anything like this, either, because Taz liked to keep things in the bedroom, or at least at home. It was a pleasant surprise and made that much better because Taz knew all the ways to turn him into a trembling mess; he was using that knowledge exquisitely. He tangled his fingers into Luce's hair and tugged sharply, and the younger man moaned, closing his eyes and letting himself just feel. He was so lost that he almost didn't notice Taz's spit-slick finger breaching him until his whole body jolted in response.

"You like that?" Taz breathed, leaning over his lover and twisting his finger just right. He smirked at the muffled groan Luce let out and easily slid another finger in. "Yeah, I bet you do. You just can't wait for me to fuck you, can you?" Luce groaned again, at both his voice and his touch. By the time Taz had him completely open—which, admittedly, didn't take very long—Luce was panting and moaning, biting on the fabric in his mouth. He whined, pushing back against Taz's hand, and curled his fingers into fists.

"Think you're ready?" Taz whispered. Luce moaned, the sound stifled by the tie, and nodded quickly. "Alright, love." He nuzzled past the collar of Luce's shirt and sucked hard on the spot where his neck met his shoulder. He could feel Luce's hands clenching and unclenching as he marked him, holding himself completely over him, and he grinned. He withdrew his fingers and slipped a steadying hand under Luce's shirt, ghosting his fingertips over his spine, silently pleased with the goose bumps left in his wake.

When Taz finally pushed his own pants down and rocked into him, Luce was surprised he didn't bite through his tie. He was suddenly extremely glad for the gag, because he was pretty sure Lilith would become concerned and try to investigate. Even if the gag _was_ his fucking Armani tie, at least he had something to deaden the sound. But now he was aching to grab onto Taz, to hold him close, and all he could do was grab onto his wrist and let Taz fuck him. He closed his eyes and moaned rhythmically, trying to meet every dizzying thrust, but Taz's other hand rested on his hip, keeping him in place. It was all he could do to _not_ try to pull his hands free and touch him like he desperately wanted to.

This was the best kind of torture, to be completely at his lover's mercy and knowing that fact wouldn't be abused. It was just like when Taz's nails were raking over his skin or his teeth found purchase on his side. Another way of marking him. He loved submitting himself to Taz, secure with the knowledge that it wasn't taken for granted. It was heady and powerful and he felt himself starting to slip, keening against the tie between his teeth. _Please, faster!_ he begged silently.

If Taz heard his mental call, he ignored it. In fact, his pace slowed, shifting from hard, fast thrusts to slow, languid strokes. It was deep and almost loving and it was driving Luce insane. He whined in protest, trying to mumble, "What the fuck are you _doing_?" but it sounded like absolute static, even to him. Taz grinned, somehow understanding his irritated tone, and breathed, "I know you, love. I can tell when you're close. I don't want you to come too quick now." The teasing in his voice was enough to have Luce turning his head to shoot him a murderous glare over his shoulder. It only made Taz chuckle, though. "Alright, love. I can give you what you want."

With that, he resumed his previous pace, every rock of his hips dragging across Luce's prostate and sending shudders through his body. The hand that had been on his back, caught in Luce's tight grip, broke free from the weakening hold and moved to Luce's front. Taz wrapped his fingers around Luce's length and started stroking, drawing a surprised moan out of the strawberry blonde. The younger man was caught, not knowing what he wanted more—to fuck into Taz's hand or push back against his cock. His blue eyes slid closed and he moaned again.

And then Taz's rhythm picked up, becoming quicker and less controlled. His control was slipping, his cool, sex-god persona giving way to mindless need. "Oh, God," he breathed. "Jesus, Luce, you feel so good." He moaned softly, causing Luce to open his eyes just to see Taz biting down hard on his lower lip. "So good… So bloody good…" His rhythm stuttered but his hand never slowed, keeping the same quick, even pace that had Luce slumped completely against the desk and unable to care. _Just like that!_ he silently egged him on, and this time, the blonde acknowledged his mental request. It only took three more passes of his hand to bring Luce off, straining and moaning against the gag and not caring anymore if Lilith heard. Even though he knew it was irrational and flawed, all he could think was that it was _his_ goddamn office and he was with _his_ goddamn husband, so what difference did it make?

Apparently, that was all Taz could take because a moment after Luce, he finished too, falling shakily against him and taking a few moments to catch his breath. He laughed softly, slipped out of Luce—drawing a faint moan from both men—and tugged on the knot holding Luce's wrists behind his back. As soon as his hands were free, the lawyer pulled the tie from around his mouth, grabbed Taz by his shirt, and brought their mouths together for another kiss. The older man smiled, affectionately running his fingers through his hair for a moment before pulling back. "Better?"

Luce leaned back, crossing his arms and smiling lazily. He was the very picture of debauched contentment, a devilish smirk with an angelic afterglow. "Yeah. Much." His grin widened. "Thanks for that, actually. Calmed me right down. And I've always wanted to do that."

"What, getting tied up or sex at work?"

Luce gave an exaggerated shrug, throwing up his hands. "Both. Both is good."

Taz chuckled. "How're your shoulders doing?"

He circled his arms experimentally. "Bit sore, but I think in a few minutes, I'll be good. All the blood's rushing back to my arms so that'll be uncomfortable for awhile, but I'll live."

"Good." Ignoring that they both still had their pants down, Taz loosely wrapped his arms around his husband. "You're gonna do great today. You're gonna impress the fuck out of We Came As Romans or whoever—"

Luce dissolved into laughter. "I can't take you seriously like this," he gasped out when he could finally breathe. "You need to leave."

"Alright, Luce." Smiling, Taz tilted his head and pressed a soft kiss against his mouth. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Here." Taz draped his tie, a light-blue one, around Luce's neck and took the red one from Luce's hands. "It's not Armani, but it least it doesn't have spit on it." He grinned, pulled up his pants, and shoved the other tie in his pocket. "You may want to pull yourself together—it's almost eleven now, love."

Luce glanced at his watch. "Fuck." He less than ten minutes to get ready to go—not that he was complaining, because his tryst had _definitely_ been worth it. He was just hoping he wouldn't do something stupid, like walk out without his jacket or something.

"You're gonna do great," Taz repeated, winking at him as he buckled his belt again. Then he sailed out the door.

When Luce emerged from his office seven minutes later, Taz's blue tie now around his neck in a distinguished half-Windsor knot, Lilith gave him a decidedly innocent expression. "I hope you don't mind, Lu, but I took lunch a little early today."

"How early?"

"Oh, I left right after Balthazar arrived. I just got back as he was walking out."

Luce tried to appear nonchalant. "That's fine. Probably for the best. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Good luck!" Lilith called after him. He waved in acknowledgement and headed out. At this point, he wasn't worried about what he was going to say or do. He was just hoping Taz hadn't left any visible hickeys. Still, he smiled at that and wondered what Roman and Dixon would say.

 _Ah, fuck them._ No matter what happened, he still had Taz at the end of the day. That was what really mattered to him, and if he didn't get a job offer, it was no big deal. They were fine without it now and would be fine if it didn't work out. All he needed was Taz.


	9. A Place Only You Can Go

_Take my notions and words to heart._

_This is the cry of a man._

_I can't bring you fortune or a noble life,_

_But I'll love you all I can._

* * *

It started so stupidly. It had just been the two of them bouncing around in the house for six years now. Luce became dimly aware that something was amiss over the course of a few months, although he couldn't put his finger on what it was. It wasn't until the birthday party that Michael and Rachel threw for their son, two-year-old Inias, that it hit him.

Inias was playing with his cousin Samandriel, who they'd started to call Andy so as not to get him confused with Sam Smith. Andy was a little less than eighteen months old, but he followed Inias around everywhere. The moment Luce and Taz walked in, Inias and Andy charged over to them, grabbing onto Taz's legs. Automatically, the blonde reached down, grabbed one rugrat in each arm, and carried them off toward the backyard. Inias and Andy kicked and giggled happily, and as Taz walked away, Luce groaned.

"Well, _that_ doesn't sound good," an obnoxiously cheerful voice said from the kitchen doorway.

Luce shot Gabe a quick but half-hearted glare. "Go f—screw yourself," he said conversationally. He managed to catch himself before he cursed, well aware that there was at least one more child running around. Anna and Raphael's daughter Layla was three years old and, with Luce's luck, she was hiding behind Sam or something. He peered into the kitchen and while he did see Sam (as well as Raphael perched on the counter), he didn't see Layla.

"What's wrong?" Ray asked.

He wasn't quite sure how to explain it, and he for _damn_ sure wasn't about to talk about it with them before he talked to Taz. Since he probably wasn't going to say anything to his husband about it in the first place, these guys were definitely not going to find out. Well, maybe Gabe, but definitely not Ray or Sam. He just shook his head.

The whole afternoon, he watched Taz chasing Inias and Layla and Andy around the yard with Castiel and Rachel. It was a side of Taz he'd never seen before, a side that involved kids. His chest tightened with something that wasn't unpleasant—in fact, it was the opposite. He felt himself falling in love with Taz all over again.

"I recognize that look," Gabe said from his right. He'd taken advantage of Luce's distraction to sneak up on him. "You want something." He shot Luce an amused look. "Taz know you wanna have his adopted babies?"

"Shut up," Luce growled. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared out the window, but his gaze softened almost immediately. His husband had settled onto the grass with Anna and Castiel continuing to play tag with Inias and Layla, but Andy had made himself comfortable in the blonde's lap. Luce couldn't tear his eyes away.

"It's not like it's not the inevitable next step," Gabe went on, ignoring his best friend's order. "I mean, you've talked about it before, right?" Then he caught sight of Luce's face. "Oh, Jesus. You haven't, have you?"

"It never came up," he murmured. He'd thought about it a grand total of about ten minutes in his life, and seven of those minutes had been before he even met Taz. Back when he was still dating mostly women, he'd always told himself _eventually, maybe_. But after he fell for Taz, he barely spared it a thought. After all, it was quite impossible for them to have a child on their own, so it didn't matter. Certainly Taz had never brought it up, either. He'd started to think that maybe Taz was under the impression that he'd make a crap dad, but considering how the trio in the backyard had taken to him, that opinion was utterly wrong. "Are you telling me that you and Sam have talked about it?"

Next to him, Gabe shrugged. "Once or twice. We're probably going to adopt like Cas and Dean did. Not anytime soon, but eventually. Couple of years, maybe." He shoved his hands into his pockets. "Hell, this is the perfect time to bring it up to him, though. Whole bunch of kids running around already, eh? Excellent. You should go out there and play with them."

"You're not."

"That's true, but neither is my husband out there." Gabe was smugness personified. "So, the way I see it, you have two options. You can either go out there and play with our friends' babies, or you can stay here and sulk and listen to me verbally harass you until you go for the first option."

"Dick," Luce muttered and headed for the door.

* * *

Even with Gabe kicking his ass, it was another week before Luce _finally_ mentioned it to Taz. That whole week, he kept arguing with himself over whether or not to bring it up. He told himself that Taz had surprised him before, after all. Getting married hadn't been _his_ idea—it had been entirely Taz's suggestion. But then he wondered what would happen if his husband said he didn't want kids at all.

Gabe was right. They should have talked about this a long fucking time ago. Even if it was as an abstract concept, a "what happens if one of us decides he wants to be a dad?" idea, they should have discussed it. Even if Luce was so sure he wouldn't have wanted them at the time, it would have been great to know it before they got married. If their opinions differed, it wouldn't have changed his mind, but it would have prepared him at least.

But it wasn't until they were both attempting to sleep a week later that they finally started talking. "What are you thinking, love?" Taz asked softly. He was on his side, facing Luce. He reached out and pushed a few strands of hair away from the strawberry blonde's face. Luce had let it get a bit longer in recent years. "You've been quiet. Something wrong?"

"No. Just thinking, that's all." He turned to face Taz. For a few seconds, he tried to think of how to say what was on his mind.

"About?"

The words just spilled out. "Do you want kids?"

He couldn't read the look on his husband's face for a few minutes. And then Taz started laughing.

"It's not funny!" he snapped.

"Sorry," Taz giggled. "Is that what this sulk has been about?"

"I don't _sulk_ ," Luce said, seething.

"You're sulking right now, love."

He groaned. "That's not the point, Taz. I'm being serious."

With a small smile still on his face, Taz nodded slowly. "I have to say I rather fancy the idea of raising a child with you. And what would your opinion on the matter be?"

Relief flooded through him. He grinned. "I have to agree. I think you'd make a great dad, too." Luce reached up and took the hand that was still cupping his face. He gave Taz's fingers a squeeze.

"That's fortunate," Taz said, laughing softly.

"So. Now that we've established that we agree on this, we still need to talk."

"It's bound to be a lengthy discussion," he murmured. "We can talk about it tomorrow. We both need some sleep."

Luce nodded and pulled Taz close to him. He slept more easily than he had in a week.

* * *

The hardest part had been bringing up the topic the first time. It wasn't as bad the next afternoon after Luce got back from work. He'd actually left work a little early so he could be sure he had enough time to talk to Taz before the older man went to work. Roman was usually pretty good about letting Luce duck out early if he was finished for the day. So while they were enjoying the last hour or so before Taz had to go to work, curled up on the sofa, Luce started talking. "We basically decided that we want to have a kid, right?"

"Yeah, I'd say so. And before you ask, I think one is about all I could handle."

Luce chuckled. "Fair enough. So this one theoretical child… when would that happen? Five years? Ten?"

"I bloody hope it won't be ten years. I'm almost forty, Luce." Taz laughed for a moment before becoming serious again. "It would make sense to do it sooner rather than later, right?"

"Definitely."

"Alright. So how are we going to do it? The messy way or the… messier way?"

Luce snorted with laughter. "I'm not sure I know what you mean by that."

"We can adopt, which would be the messy way, or we can use a surrogate, which would be the messier way."

"Well, Cas and Dean adopted," Luce pointed out. "And Gabe said he and Sam are probably going to adopt, too."

"Yes, but that doesn't really answer my question. What do _you_ want to do?"

He liked the idea of adopting a child, but he couldn't help but feeling a little selfish. He wanted to look at their kid and see one of them in something about him or her. He'd pretty much already made up his mind. "I want to use a surrogate."

"Alright." Taz nudged him with his foot. "See? That wasn't so bad."

"What about you?"

He shrugged. "I'm fine with whatever you want to do."

"Why couldn't you have said that to begin with?"

"Because if I had, you wouldn't have told me your honest opinion."

"I might have," Luce said lamely.

"So the whole process is going to take at least nine months, plus the time it'll take us to find the mother of our hypothetical child, so let's say about three months for that, and then we have to assume she's not necessarily going to get pregnant the first time, so let's say another six months. Which means that if we started this tomorrow, we might not have a kid for another year and a half."

"Yeah. It's a lot to take in all at once. And it's not just eighteen months, is it? It's the next twenty years."

"Twenty? Love, it's the rest of our lives. And yeah, we both want to have this child, but we need to be sure we're ready first. Are we?"

Luce thought for a few moments. "I feel ready. Don't you?"

After a beat of silence, Taz shook his head. "Not yet. Close, but not yet."

* * *

Four months passed before Taz said he finally felt ready, and from there, things started happening really quickly. Almost immediately, they went to a fertility clinic to start the process of finding a mother. Taz ended up being right—between their schedules, it took them close to three months to find the right woman. However, there were only so many blondes to choose from and since they'd decided that Luce was going to be the biological father, they wanted to find a woman who shared as many physical traits as possible with Taz. They finally found that in Eve Morgan, who was twenty-three, pretty, blond, blue-eyed, and tall, at five-foot-ten. She also was extremely athletic, bubbly, a political science major, and didn't smoke, and seldom drank. As Taz put it, "She's so perfect, it's nauseating." Still, she was by far the best option and they both liked her, and she liked them.

After that came the very messy process of actually impregnating Eve. Taz insisted on artificial insemination, which Luce didn't blame him for, since he probably would have done the same if their roles were reversed. Surprisingly, though, it didn't take nearly as long as they'd expected for her to actually get pregnant. In fact, it only took two, which was a bit of a shock to both of them, but a pleasant one. They waited until they were absolutely sure she was actually pregnant before they made an announcement to their friends, who knew nothing about it at all.

Their reactions ranged from mad cackling (Gabriel, of course; he actually fell out of his chair laughing) to stunned but congratulatory (Dean) and everywhere in between. Even Mike expressed his approval; he and Luce, while still not close friends (and they never would be), had definitely grown fond of each other, so it shouldn't have surprised him. Besides, Taz was still one of Castiel's best friends and Castiel _was_ Mikey's younger brother. Either way, everyone was also happy to meet Eve.

Luce and Taz met with her once a week to check on her and make sure she and the baby were doing alright. They went to every ultrasound and Taz wasn't able to resist marking off days on the calendar until July 3, which was the projected due date. That was three days before Castiel's birthday, something that amused Taz to no end—he thought it would be funny if his child and his best friend had the same birthday.

"So are we going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?" he asked Luce a little later.

"I don't think I want to know," he laughed.

"Alright. Which means we're going to have to think of names for both a boy and a girl."

"Yep, I guess so. Any ideas?"

"Maybe," Taz laughed. "I like Sebastian for a boy. Sebastian Mark, maybe."

"Yeah. I like Mark. Not so bad. What about for a girl?"

"Emma. Something with Emma."

"Emma? Not Emily?"

"Nope, Emma. Buggered if I can think of something to do with it, though."

"Hell, I don't know, either. We'll come up with something, though." Luce had nearly dismissed the subject for the time being when he remembered something else. "Shit. What are we going to do about the last-name thing?" They'd both kept their own last names after they got married; they were fairly attached to their names. This left them with the problem of what to do when the little bundle of joy arrived and they had to assign him or her a last name.

"Ooh. Good question. I guess… We should probably hyphenate, right? Lords-Pellegrino or Pellegrino-Lords?"

"Yeah, something like that." Luce smiled. "I like the first one better though."

Taz chuckled. "Well, you won't hear me complaining."

* * *

_January 8, 2021_

_Well, this kind of feels silly since you don't have a name yet, and we don't even know if you're a boy or a girl yet. But we got our first picture of you today. Eve has one, too. She's your mom, but I'm not sure how big of a role she's going to have in your life. I mean, I guess if she wants to see you, I'm okay with that and your other dad will probably be okay with it if I am. This is so surreal. We haven't even decided what we're going to have you call us._

_For the longest time now, I've been hearing from Cas and Dean and Ray and Anna and Mike and Rachel about how life-changing the experience of having a kid is. There's so much love there that you can't completely understand it. I know it'll be worth it, all the sleepless nights and stuff, even though we're not quite there yet. A few more months. I'm nervous, but excited. I think I'm more worried about how I'm going to handle everything. I didn't have the best father growing up and I hope I don't turn into him. My mom insists that he started off as such a good guy, so that makes it worse, I think. How could such a good guy turn into such a massive dick? (I'm not giving this to you until you're eighteen.) I don't want that to happen with you and me. He didn't screw up my life, but I'm afraid I'm going to screw up yours._

_That's the most unnerving part of having a kid, though. It's knowing that one day, this tiny little newborn isn't going to be so little anymore and they're going to be an adult just like you are, walking around and talking to people and you just hope that they don't end up being a serial killer or something. Eventually, you'll be able to see if you did a good job raising a child and what if you don't do a good job? It's nerve-wracking and in the meantime you're trying to tell yourself you're doing okay but secretly you keep thinking, what if this is the one thing I do that turns my kid into a psycho? And you can't just give up, either. You can't just walk away one day because that's a sure-fire way to definitely screw your kid up if you haven't already so you have to stick with it._

_Of course, what do I know? You haven't even been born yet. There's still a long way to go. I just hope we're all ready._

_I love you._

* * *

Very few things in life go as originally planned. If they did, Luce would be on a world tour with a rock band. However, if that had happened, he wouldn't have met Balthazar Lords, the man who changed him for the better. All in all, he was happy with how things had turned out.

So it really shouldn't have surprised him when, on June 29, he got a text from Taz reading _EVE'S IN LABOR. HOSPITAL NOW._ For a second, he was certain he'd just had a heart attack. It was really happening. They were really about to become parents.

Then the adrenaline kicked in. He jumped out of his seat, grabbed his suit jacket (Azazel, Roman, and Dixon had a stricter dress code than his own independent office), and dashed out of his office. He barely paused for the five seconds it took him to tell Lilith (who'd been able to follow him to the firm) what was going on before he was in the elevator, heading toward the parking garage.

He made it to the hospital in record time, grateful that Taz had been on standby for the past week or so. They exchanged texts whenever they could—Taz kept him posted on Eve's status, which was "still in labor, but not ready for delivery" and Luce gave him updates on his location. He felt himself relaxing a bit the closer he got to the hospital, though. It became clearer through Taz's messages that Eve would be in labor for a few more hours at least, so he had a bit of time.

Still, his heart rate picked up again when he saw Taz standing in the waiting room, nursing a cup of coffee, and looking tired. Even though it was only about ten-thirty, it had been ten when Taz first texted him, meaning he'd been asleep for about five non-consecutive hours before Eve called.

"How's she doing?"

Taz gave him a tight hug and a kiss before sighing, "No change. Still a few more hours, they're saying." He took a swig of coffee and made a face. "This shit's terrible. I think they made it yesterday."

Luce half-smiled. "You didn't get much sleep this morning, did you?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I guess I should get used to it, though. I'm told children fuck with your sleep anyway." As they headed to Eve's room, he added, "So, are we taking bets on if it's a boy or a girl? Eve is convinced it's a boy."

"Yeah, that's kind of what I was thinking, too. Why? Were you thinking it's a girl?"

"Yeah. But I guess we'll find out soon enough. One of us is right, after all."

* * *

Twelve hours later, they had their answer. Exhausted and sweaty but still looking for all the world like Taz's younger sister, Eve giggled when the doctor put the baby right into Luce's arms.

"Holy crap, she's tiny," Luce said, unable to stop staring at his daughter. He'd never seen a newborn in person before—Inias and Layla had been over two months old before he'd first seen them. It was so surreal to have her actually in his arms like this. Physically, she was very light, but holding her sparked a sudden weight of responsibility. It finally hit home just how precious this was. He blinked back tears as he smiled.

"They generally are, at that age," Taz joked. There was a tender smile on his face, though, and he gently rubbed Luce's back. "I guess we won't be naming her Sebastian, then."

"How about June? I mean, she was _so_ anxious to be born today."

"June Emma?" Taz seemed to roll it around in his head for a minute. "Yeah, I can get behind that."

Still smiling giddily, Luce kissed June's forehead. She blinked at him once, her eyes wide and almost unnaturally blue, before deciding she liked sleeping better and closed her eyes again. "Hi, June. I love you."

Next to him, Taz let out a quiet snort of laughter and gave into his own happy tears.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Every Day is June](https://archiveofourown.org/works/576318) by [L_Greene](https://archiveofourown.org/users/L_Greene/pseuds/L_Greene)




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